


Origami Swans

by asterheart



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Bang Chan & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, Bang Chan is Whipped, Because Chan calls Felix his 'little brother' a lot, Childhood Friends, Fluff and Crack, Friends to Lovers, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is a Sweetheart, Lee Felix is also a bitch, M/M, Probably smut with how this is going
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:40:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25933033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterheart/pseuds/asterheart
Summary: Felix Lee is admittedly a lot of things, but what he'sdefinitely notis Chan's little brother.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 119
Kudos: 730





	1. Hearts and Heelys

**Author's Note:**

> Because I love the Chanlix dynamic of Chan being incredibly endeared by Felix and realizing that he is endeared!!! with a boner!!!!
> 
> I also wanted to write sassy, sexy, bitchy Felix so here ya go. Hope y'all enjoy this multi-chap, finishing most probably this month.
> 
> IF Y'ALL WANT SOME SEUNGJIN DRAMA GO TO MY MAIN ACC @monlune PLEASE THANK U!!!!

Felix is the coolest kid in the world.

At least, that's what his mom told him when she was strapping on his new light-up sneakers. It was better than what Hunter was showing off on their field trip before, since his has wheels at the bottom too and even though he forgets how to stop himself from wheeling out of the living room sometimes, his mom still comments that he's doing better than his older brother. Felix thinks that's what counts at the end of the day, anyway.

It was a sunny afternoon, and his mom never could stop Felix from bouncing around the house when it was the weekend and the light is peeking past her cornflower blue curtains. His dad calls him sunshine, something about popping out of his mom littered with freckles down to his ears. Felix just thinks it's annoying when his classmates tell him he looks grubby during P.E.

Felix runs out of the living room excitedly, stomps his foot several times on the pavement with his eyes trained solely on the thick stripes on the sides of his shoes. He frowns once he sees that they don't shine as much outside, and that he'll probably have to ask his mom if his shoes run out of battery this early on after buying them. Felix settles for leaning back in his heels, giggling at the feeling of rolling on the balls of his feet.

He circles around the block with wobbly knees, remembers how annoying his brother Lewis is for not teaching him how to skate. Felix should probably be thankful for him though, his mom would have never bought him the Heelys if she didn't screech at the sight of her seven-year-old stepping tentatively on his brother's old skateboard. Felix thinks that maybe it's not so bad to have an older brother sometimes.

Felix stops at the sight of a large truck three blocks from their own home, right in front of the largest house in town. Avni from his science class used to live there before she moved away, since her sister's going off to study at some fancy college. His curiosity gets the best of him, moves closer to get a peek of the people moving in to their neighborhood. Felix pauses right in front of the truck's back door, tilts his head in wonder once he sees a big, red drum set. He hears shuffling from the side and panics, thinks of how adults often scold him for being too nosy and loses control of his wheels, ends up barreling towards the front yard of the house on the opposite side of the road.

Felix quickly loses balance, tries to grab helplessly onto the first thing he sees, which unfortunately is Mrs. Goldman's flowers. He almost rips them off in the process, succeeds instead in pulling the clay pot along with the flowers as it crashes on the pavement, the pot breaking in half with soil leaking from the sides.

Felix stares at the aftermath, looks down and winces at the scrape on his left knee and the heated burn of his outer arm. He stands up and dusts himself off, wipes the quick stream of tears forming in his eyes as he hears the sound of the screen door opening at Mrs. Goldman's porch and he thinks that maybe she won't tell his mom if he tells her this is his first time breaking in the Heelys. Maybe she'll even feel bad for him since they don't light up as well in the summer.

The boy clenches his fists, bites his tongue to keep himself from calling out for his mom, or maybe his brother since Lewis is really nice to him when he cries. Felix is too absorbed in his own thoughts to notice another figure standing beside him, quickly dumping the edge of a shiny, brand new skateboard and a white sneaker in the dirt. He turns and sees another boy, staring at Mrs. Goldman's door in apprehension as the woman finally comes out the house. She gasps at the mess, mentions something about gardenias Felix has never heard of in his life, and when she asks what happened Felix is still trembling beside the other boy, who manages to speak calmly and apologizes for ramming into the pot with his skateboard.

The woman is a nice old lady, the kind who gives out really fancy chocolates for trick-or-treat and doesn't turn his class away when they ask if they can sing some carols outside of her house for money for their Christmas party. The boy apologizes profusely, tells Mrs. Goldman he can come by and help plant another one in a pot from his mom since his mom loves gardening too. Mrs. Goldman doesn't seem mad, waves them off when the boy tries to help with cleaning up the mess. The older nods, smiles widely and abruptly tows Felix along with him.

Felix can look at him better now that he's not frozen in fear. Lewis used to tease him that he's a crybaby all the time. He hasn't been doing it much since he's too busy with hard maths now, Felix thinks. This boy, clad in a white polo shirt in the summer and clean denim, looks older than Felix. He certainly acts like one.

He turns to face the younger once they're farther away from Mrs. Goldman's house, "You okay? You still look kind of scared." The other boy scans him up and down, lingers once he sees the red marks on his body. "She didn't get mad, right? My mom's gonna give her a new plant anyway, since we've just moved in."

Felix wipes the tear stains on his cheeks, hiccups as he speaks. "Why did you tell Mrs. Goldman you broke the pot? I did that. My," Felix looks down at his shoes, "My mom bought me these just today so I kind of don't know how to use them yet. I fell and took Mrs. Goldman's pot down."

The older looks amused, "Do yours light up? My brother has a pair but they don't have cool lights on the sides."

Felix nods vigorously, adamant to show the stranger as he stomps his feet. The blues and reds blink back at them from the sides of his shoes, and Felix brightens at how the other boy mutters a small 'wow' in response. "That's really cool. My little brother, his name's Lucas by the way, he'd be super jealous of you right now. Our mom doesn't want to buy him another pair since he used them to go down the stairs and broke his arm last month."

The younger falters at the mention of the other's mother, remembers why they were there in the first place. "Why did you lie? My mom says it's not good to lie to adults, even if it gets you in trouble."

The stranger sighs, leans his dirty skateboard against his waist. The mud stains his shirt but he doesn't look like he cares that much. "I knew you didn't mean to break the pot, you're all scraped up over it. I was worried she was going to yell at you and make you cry even more."

Felix bristles, "I'm not a crybaby." He remembers how his brother would laugh loudly when he says this, teases that only crybabies would say that.

The older boy ruffles his hair and Felix tries to move away, "I didn't say you were. You just looked like you needed some help. How old are you, anyway?"

"Seven. How old are _you?"_ The stranger laughs at Felix's tone, but it doesn't sound as mocking as it would have if it came from his brother. He drops his skateboard on the road and glides slowly with his right foot pushing him forward. Felix didn't have to rush to keep up.

"Old enough to lie about breaking a pot." That doesn't really answer Felix's question, and they hear someone yelling from the front porch of the fancy house before the younger could ask any more.

A woman stands with a cardboard box resting on her hip, looking expectantly at the boy beside Felix once they circle back to stop in front of the moving truck. "Christopher, honey. I need you to tell the movers where to put your drum set."

The older boy nods, tries to dust off his clothes as best as he can. Felix thinks he doesn't do a very good job. "I gotta go, my mom's calling me over." He picks up his board so effortlessly, and Felix hates how cool the other looks. "I can teach you how to use your Heelys some other time."

Christopher walks away and Felix stands on the pavement, stomps his foot instinctively to make his shoes light up when the older turns back at him to flash him a wave and a wide smile. The boy smiles even wider as he sees the faint red and blue from where he's standing, ignores his mother's surprise at the state of his shoes and white clothes.

Felix doesn't use the wheels as he goes back home, thinks that maybe Christopher can help him out with learning how to ride them next time.

Felix takes it back. He thinks Christopher is the coolest kid in the world.

***************************************

Christopher is the same age as Lewis, Felix's brother. He doesn't know how to feel about that, since Lewis is kind of always mean to him and is only nice when there are adults around or when it's Christmas or his birthday. Lewis doesn't beat him up or say mean things, but he doesn't play with Felix and he always complains when the younger has to tag along when he goes to the park to play football with his friends.

Lewis' friends aren't mean to him either, but they don't talk to him much. They let him kick the ball sometimes when they're buying ice cream or drinking water, but he likes it better when Lewis is in a good mood and they go out to play by themselves.

Their mom really likes Chris' mom, since they work at the same place or something. They met when Chris' mom went around and gave out gifts to the neighbors, and Felix remembers his dad commenting that the Bangs are probably rich. Felix had just turned eight when Chris started hanging out with his brother a lot, since they both liked skateboarding and really loud songs.

Felix is always happy whenever Chris is around, gets all excited when the other visits him in his room to ask about his day and how school's going. Chris sometimes brings him treats from his house since their housekeeping lady bakes a lot, and Felix gives Chris an origami of a swan he learned how to make in class. Chris lights up at his gift, ruffles Felix's hair and tells him he's so talented and smart as he carefully keeps the paper in his backpack.

"Thanks, Lixie." Chris would tell him, and Felix would beam at the other before Lewis would pull Chris aside and tell Felix to stop bothering them and go play. Felix feels like a little kid when Lewis would scold him like that, and Chris pinching his cheeks makes him feel even younger.

Felix doesn't get to learn how to use Heelys properly, but Chris does teach him stuff for school whenever he comes around and finds Lewis out with his other friends from the little league soccer team. They've been asking Chris to join since he's really fast, but he always says he doesn't have time.

Chris teaches him math, and sometimes science or history when he stays over longer. Chris is really good at studying, and he mentions things that Felix doesn't understand since he's still in third grade while Chris will be in middle school next year. Chris makes learning fun, and he says Felix's freckles look like something from the sky, but better since they're pretty in the morning _and_ at night. Felix giggles when the other traces them down, and he thinks Chris is lying when he points them out and names them out loud.

Chris comes over to their house when Felix is ten and tells him he's leaving, because his brother Lucas would need to be back in Korea and they're all coming along. Felix doesn't understand why they all need to go when Lucas is the one who needs to be there. Felix thinks brothers are the worst, no wonder Lewis doesn't like him. His mother hasn't seen her child cry this much, not even when Chewy was buried in her mother's backyard. She worries that Felix is making himself sick by being so upset, and Chris tells the little boy that they can still see and message each other since Lewis will help him out.

Felix hugs him tightly once the other boy pulls him into his room. Chris smooths his hair down, rubs thumbs down Felix's cheeks and lingers as he traces his fingers on the younger's skin. Chris promises that they'll still be in touch, and that just because he's going away it doesn't mean that he's leaving Felix behind. Chris makes him promise that he'll memorize his multiplication table still and leaves his skateboard by Felix's bedroom door.

Chris keeps in touch with just Lewis for the first few months, since Felix is too young to have a laptop of his own yet. Lewis had gotten nicer to him when Chris left, takes him out to eat with just the two of them and doesn't get embarrassed for taking his brother to his ballet classes. He's thirteen when he finally gets his own phone, and the first thing he does is wheedle Lewis into helping him make an email address. Lewis teases him, mocks that Chris would probably have no idea who he even is and it makes Felix flustered enough not to speak to him for a week before the older caves with a new phone case for the other as an apology.

The older does remember him, and Chris mentions that he's so happy that Felix reached out to him and that he was worried the younger was too mad at him for leaving to ever want to talk to him again. Felix thinks that's silly, and his friends would agree with how much Felix loves to talk about his other brother from Korea who's way cooler than the one he has back home.

Felix is fourteen when he realizes he doesn't think of Chris as his brother. It took clumsily kissing a boy under the bleachers for him to understand his feelings, to know that the rapid race of his heart when the other messages is not friendly nor familial. He looks in the mirror and remembers how Chris used to call him pretty, he wonders if the other would still think so.

He's sixteen when he comes to the thought of Chris, after seeing a picture of him on his Instagram at a beach with his friends. Felix doesn't know if he should feel guilty when he comes all the other times after with the same thought in his head, even when he's laying in bed with different people. Felix is also sixteen when his brother Lewis decides to transfer to Korea for college, talks about music more often than he breathes. Their mom is devastated, looks at Felix like she knows the younger is thinking of doing the same. Their dad just laughs and tells them they should have taught the two better Korean.

Their parents transfer Lewis, they call him _Changbin_ of all things over there, money for a new apartment for the two of them. Felix is positive that he truly deserves the Audi they're buying him along with the house after learning about his Korean name.

Felix gets off the plane and rubs a hand down his neck, doesn't dare to take off his sunglasses when he hears his name being called out from behind him. He turns his cart around hurriedly, smile faltering almost immediately upon seeing his brother waving an overly decorated bouquet around.

The older's lips lift up into a teasing smirk, "Expecting someone else?" If Felix accidentally rams the wheel of his cart against his brother's foot, it's not anybody's business but the Lees'. 

Changbin all but throws the bouquet at him, smothers him in a one-armed embrace. "It's good to have you here, brat. Mom's been hounding me about not letting you buy another convertible after what you did to the last one."

"That car was a compromise, I crashed it out of the goodness of my heart." Felix defends as his brother snorts. The dancer tries to ask nonchalantly, "Does he know I've landed?"

Felix hates the smug expression on his brother's face and how much it mirrors his own. "I didn't keep Charming in the loop, figured you wanted to surprise him with how much of a diva you grew up to be."

The older luckily misses the swing of his brother's duffel bag. Felix scoffs, "We've kept in touch. He knows _exactly_ how I am."

His brother gives him a look as they load up his bags in the car, complains under his breath about how much the younger had packed when they're shipping all of his things over within the week anyway. "Can't imagine he was describing my brother when he was going off about how 'nice' and 'sweet' Felix Lee is." Changbin remarks mockingly as Felix straps his seat belt on the passenger seat.

"He said that?" Felix couldn't help but ask, and Changbin snorts as he rounds the corner. He's thankful that he's driving and his brother doesn't plan on getting them killed for the sake of his ego.

"Chan says that about dogs and old people at the Senior Center, too. Don't get your hopes up, twinkles." Changbin doesn't miss the hit to his shoulder at that, chuckles at his brother's indignant expression.

Felix leans back against his seat with an annoyed huff, looks out the window and is momentarily stunned by how different the streets look from his home. He's put off going to Korea for vacations on purpose, not wanting to bump into Chris, or _Chan_ as he's more commonly called, unprepared.

Changbin ruffles his hair, which serves to make the other even more irritated. The older laughs, "Chan will be happy to see you, brat. Lord knows one of us has to be."

Felix bites his lip to stop the sides of his mouth from twitching up into a smile. "Whatever. If you so much as try to call me by my Korean name here, the Benz isn't the only thing I'm _accidentally_ crashing."

"Ah yes, my brother. The Mother Theresa of road rage."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for the first chapter, and I think this'll get kind of trope-y but to be honest I don't think I've come across any Chanlix fic with the same plot and I can picture them playing this out so vividly.
> 
> You know the drill, comments and kudos are much appreciated. Thank you! <3


	2. Swan Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix may not be dressed appropriately for the Dongbu Senior Care Center, but he is dressed appropriately to seduce.

"Is the gloss too much?"

Changbin lifts his eyes from his phone screen, gives his brother a once over with a raised eyebrow. "You're wearing a see-through shirt and you're asking if the _lipgloss_ is too much?"

"It's sheer and I could do without the sarcasm, thank you." Felix steals a glance at the decorative mirror outside of their powder room, tilts his head in contemplation at the stain of his lips.

The younger shakes his head, "Yeah, think I'm going for a more natural look so clear gloss would be good. The glitter was overkill."

"Your whole outfit is overkill." Changin deadpans as he lifts himself off their couch, "We're going to the Senior Center for crying out loud, could you not spare the poor old ladies' hearts for a day?"

Felix groans exaggeratedly, stomps back into his room only to come out with a loose cardigan over his shirt. "Happy?"

Changbin slips on his shoes with a snort, "A silk, champagne cardigan of all things will _definitely_ blend you right in, Lix. I'm gonna need you to hold hands with me so I don't lose you in the crowd."

The blonde chooses to ignore his brother and walks ahead as they go down to the parking lot. The two slide into Changbin's car, as if it wasn't more ostentatious than Felix's fashion choices, and Felix pouts as Changbin slaps his hand away from the music player.

Felix has been in Korea for a few days now, choosing to stay in all dramatic like he's been jet lagged for three days. His brother indulges him, as he always does and goes out of his way to help the other settle in. Felix wouldn't be caught dead admitting that he's missed Changbin's annoyed little grumbling whenever the younger persuades him into spoiling the latter.

Speaking of the older, Felix could feel the burning gaze of his brother from his side. "I know. You can't believe we're even related with how attractive I am. I see you in the morning and I'm baffled everyday."

Changbin pinches his side as Felix snickers, "No, you little pest. I'm wondering why you chose to meet with Chan just now when you've already been in Korea for a few days." The older takes a smooth left, curiosity written all over his face. "Thought you would have left me with your bags and jumped into his arms the minute you landed."

The blonde bites his cheek, doesn't let a hint of his embarrassment show. " _Shut up_. I," Felix turns to face the window, smooths a hand down his hair. "I looked like hell the first day and I popped a nasty pimple from how fucking dry the air is here. I wasn't about to meet your future brother-in-law with a zit the size of California on my chin."

Felix rummages through his bag, pulls the front seat mirror down to check if he has anything he needs to reapply. "Besides, absence makes the heart grow fonder, or some shit like that. I don't want him to think that I'm obsessed with him."

Changbin cackles at his words, "Yeah, you're visiting a geriatric care facility in full make-up and a club outfit. You even got me to book you a lash extension home appointment. Good luck with the 'not letting him know you're a psycho' thing."

"Fuck you." Changbin laughs even louder and adds, "Seriously, Lix. This is too much, I told you back at home. Chan's not gonna see this shit, he'll be too busy playing bingo with his best friends."

Felix notes how accentuated his eyes look with the lashes, and he mentally pats himself on the back for getting that lip blush tattoo before flying out. "Trust me, he'll wanna play strip poker over bingo soon enough."

"Ew, don't say that to my face. I'm still your brother."

The Dongbu Senior Care Center wasn't any different from the places Felix had visited along with his high school friends at a school retreat before, except this one has the love of his life on board. He holds his phone in a death grip to keep himself from clutching onto his brother's sleeve like a scared little kid. Felix, with all his talk about seduction and confidence, is internally terrified at seeing Christopher again after all this time.

He knows what Chris looks like, and the older has seen him from photos on social media as well (Changbin, on several occasions has labeled him as an 'Instagram model' with his hundred-thousand follower count). His nerves are getting the best of him, and for a split second he remembers that Chris wasn't raised up the same way as he was in Australia where men would take one look at him in skin-tight jeans and call him gorgeous. This is Korea, for goodness sake. He feels the curious glances of the people in the hall and Felix suddenly feels the need to cover up. Would Chris react the same? He wonders.

It seems that he doesn't have to wonder any longer as a familiar figure rounds the corner to the reception area, where Changbin is chatting up a female volunteer with surprisingly impressive low lights. Felix looks at Chris for the first time in years, clad in a black hoodie and equally as black hair. He feels fourteen again and Chris is as devastatingly handsome as Felix made him out to be in his head.

Changbin speaks up first, pulling Chris into a one-armed side hug. The older smiles and Felix has to take a step back to catch his breath. "Bin, you came. No Seungmin this time?"

His brother falters at the comment and Felix would have prodded further if the two didn't turn to him next. "Nope, but I brought a 'Felix' along if that's alright?"

Felix locks eyes with Chris and the older's widen in shock. His first instinct was to pull Changbin into a headlock. "What the hell? You didn't tell me he already landed. Since when?"

Changbin struggles under Chris' grip, and Felix mentally notes how the fabric strains around his arms. The younger swallows, "A few days ago. Surprise?" He tries to sound confident, like he knows Chris would be ecstatic to see him.

Felix isn't disappointed by the wide smile the other gives him. He is, however, stunned as Chris pulls him into an engulfing hug. The blonde can feel his heart beating out of his chest. He could sense Chris' lips against the side of his neck as the other speaks, "Oh my God, I haven't seen you in ages. This is insane." Chris pulls away, only to grab both of his arms. "You're so grown up now, Swan Lake. Last I saw you, you were so small and struggling with your multiplication table."

The blonde feels a simmer of dread at the comment, but he stamps it down at the sound of Chris' nickname for him. Changbin knows about this little tidbit, laughed in Felix's face when he bragged about it to the other all excited and blushing. The smug smirk on his brother's lips tells him he's remembering the same. "You've seen my pictures on social media. You know what I look like, Chris."

"Yeah, but it's still different to see you in person. You never wanted us to video call and your brother's face on a phone screen has never been Facetime-friendly." Chris teases, and Changbin groans.

"You put them together and it's like the annoyance multiplies. Wonderful." He comments dryly, a stark contrast from his grin.

They walk side by side as Chris leads them out to the garden, the volunteers lining up chairs and tables for the residents. Some of them come up to greet the three and to ask Chris a few questions as the latter supervises. They greet people back, and Felix releases a breath he didn't know he was holding when the elderly women approach to compliment him on his outfit. A sweet lady named Jangmi told him his make-up looks really pretty, and Felix thinks that swinging by again with an armful of cosmetics and shimmery clothes wouldn't be so bad of a bonding moment with the group.

Chris turns to speak to him as Changbin excuses himself to grab them something to drink. "You'll be going to the same university as us, right? What are you majoring in?"

Felix scoots closer to Chris as they sit on a wooden picnic table and relaxes when the other doesn't try to move away. "Yep, dance major." He leans back on his palms, lets the fabric of his cardigan fall from one shoulder. Felix looks up at Chris from under his lashes. "I mean, I have the figure for it, right?" He asks, tone lighthearted enough not to overwhelm the older.

Chris shakes his head, "I kind of don't know much about that," The older laughs. "Pre-med doesn't really give you a chance to have a life outside of it." Chris' name is called out by one of the residents, the elderly man asking him to join the bingo session. The raven-haired boy yells back a 'I'll be there in a little while, I didn't forget our bet' and the man releases a billowing laugh.

"You still love to dance, huh." Chris looks out into the view, glances at Felix the way you would with a yipping pomeranian instead of an eighteen-year-old, _very_ flexible, former high school dance captain. "I remember you used to pull us all into the living room to watch your little showcase with a shiny Michael Jackson hat on. You were so adorable as a kid."

Felix almost falls back from where he's keeping himself up. The blonde coughs, "Right. I was, but not anymore. I'm nineteen now. You're not much older than me, you know?"

Chris laughs and ruffles his hair, "Alright Mr. Adult, I'm sorry." Felix is seconds away from slapping him. "You're too much of an adult to call me Chan-hyung, then?"

How about I call you 'oppa' instead? Felix wants to blurt out, but with the way things are going he thinks it would be best not to scar Chris, or Chan-hyung for life by turning his little Swan Lake into Burlesque all of a sudden. Felix figures slow and steady would be best, so he lets it go.

The blonde smiles in a way he's been told is deathly attractive, but sweet since Chan seems to be the type to like that shit. "I can call you _Chan-hyung_ alright," Felix stands and settles beside the line of elderly women, laser focused on blotting out their numbers on the bingo cards, "if you beat me and my girls at bingo."

Chris laughs out loud, cheers along with the men of the group as they realize the bet the two had settled into. Felix has to admit that it was fun hearing the latest gossip from the ladies of the Dongbu Senior Care Center, but he thinks the triumphant smile on Chris' face as one of his teammates yells out the magic word is even more amusing. Changbin is puzzled to see how well-adjusted his brother seems to be with the group, considering Felix is the type to get a dog purely for the joy of picking out a Louis Vuitton dog carrier.

Felix is a good kid, but he was brought up differently than Chan even with money being the common denominator between the two. He had long accepted the fact that when his brother sets his mind on something, there's no stopping him. Looking at them now, with Felix acting like Chan hung the moon with every digit he pulls out of the rickety bingo ball turner, he can't help but worry about how this will all turn out.

The blonde startles at the cold drink pressed against his cheek. Felix slaps aimlessly at his brother, "Stop. This is tinted moisturizer, dumbass. It comes off when the fucking wind blows too hard."

Changbin resists the urge to laugh out loud at the scowl on Felix's face, which turns a complete one eighty once Chan joins them. "Hey. You guys staying for dinner?"

The older shakes his head, "Nah, we're going to Minho's thirst trap party with his thirst trap friends." Chan smirks at the statement as Changbin continues, "Felix gets too antsy at home, needs to get walked a lot to be friendly."

Felix narrows his eyes, thinks the other is laying it on too thick since he _knows_ Felix can't afford to bite back too hard this early on meeting Chris, _Chan-hyung_ again. Changbin's smile turns even more smug. "You'll have to excuse my brother, he was dropped on his head as a baby and now he thinks that everything he says is funny."

Chan cracks up at that, and Felix's heart skips a beat at the sight. "You guys are a riot, makes me miss having Lucas around again." Chan turns to him, pinches his cheek and Felix wants to stomp on his brother's feet for snorting. "I guess I have you around now too."

Felix smiles tightly. "Of course. So, are you coming to the party?" The blonde thinks this would be an amazing opportunity for him. He doesn't work his ass off at dance for it not to have some kind of result. Changbin leaves them to get the car ready, asks Felix to walk with Chan to the entrance for when he drives to pick the younger up.

Chan waves around awkwardly before his right hand settles behind his neck. "I don't know, Swan Lake. It's not really my idea of fun."

Felix walks closer to the other, is not sure if he should be relieved or annoyed that Chan doesn't hesitate to let him into the older's space. The blonde pretends to pick a stray piece of lint off the collar of Chan's hoodie as he looks up at him with his most innocent smile. "I'll be there." He drags an innocent finger against the older's collarbone, could be an accident for all the other knows. "I can make it fun."

Chan surprises him with two palms against his cheeks. He's pushing Felix's features together too gruffly for it to be sweet. "We'll see. Are you even allowed to drink here?"

Yes I am, Felix thinks. I'm even allowed to suck your dick if you would just shut your mouth about me being younger than you for five seconds. Felix settles for a giggle and a slap to the other's arm. "Yes, I am and you're an asshole." He comments teasingly, and Chan looks as if he's appalled at Felix's language.

The younger can't wait to show the other just how filthy his mouth can get, with language amongst other things. "Come on, stop being lame for one night and swing by, please? For me?" Felix wheedles, "I just got here, you know. I'm alone and helpless without any friends."

Chan waves off his teasing, "Alright, alright. I'll try." Felix settles into his seat as Changbin drives up, resolutely ignores the shit-eating grin the older is shooting him.

Felix huffs, "I definitely need a drink now." The blonde was so excited for Chan to finally see him in person, only for the other to all but call him 'kid'.

"Warm milk or ginger ale?" Felix punches Changbin's arm so hard the car swerves from the impact to the steering wheel. The blonde doesn't bat an eye.

****************************************************

The club is the same as all the others, and Felix is thankful that they alternate Western music in between Korean dance music because if he's going to slut it up he needs some Beyoncé or some kind of hoe anthem to get him through this night.

Chan is every wet dream of Felix's combined, albeit a little less frat boy than he would normally go for in Australia. He's painfully sweet, kind, and caring and infuriatingly clueless. Felix doesn't know if it was the sixties music or the chess but Chan doesn't seem to have a single inkling of Felix's intentions when he turned up in pretty pink blush and silk.

Minor bump in the road, Felix convinces himself as he went home to change into an outfit designed to kill. The dip of the satin is criminal against his chest and collarbones, paired with his skinniest jeans. Felix isn't above bending over the bar if he's being honest with himself.

"You do know this is the VIP section, right? Minho practically lives in this area so there's no need to guard it anymore." Hyunjin nudges him from his side, carefree and modelesque at the same time. He reminds Felix of his friends back home.

Felix is comfortable enough to be candid with the other, even after meeting just thirty minutes earlier. His cousin Minho has a lot of model friends from the same circle, but Hyunjin is one of the few who actually count. "I'm waiting for someone."

"I pity the poor thing, you've been scanned too many times to count tonight." Hyunjin gestures to the crowd, amused smile on his face. "They're gonna have to dance with you with a target on their back."

Chan finally arrives, and Felix feels the spark of attraction ignite brighter at the sight of the other in a leather jacket. Hyunjin catches his line of sight and laughs, "Oh honey, you are absolutely precious." Hyunjin shoots back a shot of his drink. "Chan's a bitch to crack and he doesn't do do-overs. Trust me, I've tried."

Felix whips his head back to face the other so quickly his neck makes a sound. "You've hooked up with him before?"

Hyunjin looks confused at his expression, "For someone salivating over him, you sure are happy to know I've slept with him."

"Doesn't matter, at least he's not straight. I've been begging my brother to tell me but he says it's not his business or some shit." Felix beams at the other, "Thanks for letting me know."

"Glad to be of service, then." Hyunjin remarks, amused. The model stares back at him intently, "I have a feeling you'll get him though. As you can see, Chan likes them pretty." He smiles a little knowingly and winks.

Felix bounces over to where Jisung is handing Chan a drink. He plops down on Chan's left, gets a questioning lift of the eyebrow from Jisung he chooses to acknowledge later as he grins at the raven-haired boy.

"Hi." Felix whispers near Chan's ear, thankful for the excuse of the loud music to cuddle closer to the other on the velvet booth. Chan grins at him, eyes a little glassy. "You pre-gamed already? Thought partying isn't your thing?"

Chan's expression changes for a split second before it smooths out. The older chuckles, "I can hold my own, Swan Lake. Don't worry your pretty little head over it."

Felix hums and he thinks Chan sounds a little more drunk than tipsy, "You think I'm pretty?"

The older laughs like he thinks Felix is so funny, and the younger figures he should be insulted when Chan doesn't say anything to answer his question. The older simply grabs a glass of tequila and shoots it back with barely a grimace.

Felix bites his lip, pulls at the other's arm and speaks, "I'm bored, come dance with me." The blonde puts his deepest pout on, shoots Chan a pitiful glance. Chan shakes his head, only for the younger to pull harder. "You said you'd take care of me once I got here."

Chan pauses at that, looks at Felix under the flickering lights like he's weighing something in his head. Finally, painstakingly, Chan nods. The younger doesn't waste a second pulling him to the dance floor.

They start off all goofy, with Chan imitating popular dance moves from social media like the complete dork that he is. Felix finds it cute still, and he thinks his friends back home would mock him tirelessly for wanting to spread his legs for an absolute nerd.

The song change makes Felix's lips twitch up into a knowing smirk, as he pulls Chan closer with two arms wrapped around his neck. Chan backs away at first, but reluctantly lets himself be caged in once he sees the slightly dejected look on Felix's face.

Felix turns and leans his back against Chan's front, almost molding them together on the dance floor. The younger considers the growing crowd a small blessing, since Chan can't get away too easily and Felix can blame them shamelessly for pushing their bodies together.

He reaches back to rake a hand through Chan's hair. "Now do you think so?"

Chan takes a minute to respond, doesn't sound like he thinks the question is actually directed at him. "What?"

Felix looks back at the older, heated gaze making the room feel smaller than it actually is. "That I have the body of a dancer." The blonde runs a delicate fingertip down the side of Chan's neck, emphasizes his words by pushing their hips flush together. "Don't you think so, _hyung?"_

Chan swallows and Felix sees a flash of darkness in the other's eyes before it's gone again. Felix almost stumbles back with the force of how fast Chan had extricated himself from the younger's hold.

"Let's go back to the others. Your brother's probably looking for you." Chan reasons as he drags Felix along with him to the booth. Felix isn't given enough time to even protest when Chan leaves him to sit beside Hyunjin, and the older settles into an abrupt conversation with Jisung about God knows what from the opposite side of the couch.

Hyunjin shoots him a smug smile, "I'm guessing you're Swan Lake, then?"

Felix bristles at the nickname, "Unfortunately." He wordlessly picks up the shot Hyunjin slides over to his side of the table. "He's talked to you about me?"

The model's smile widens maniacally. "Sweetheart, Chan talks about his 'Australian little brother' all the time."

Hyunjin had to hold onto his arm to stop Felix from throwing a bottle directly at Chan's stupidly perfect face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaay I updated so I'm kind of proud of how this chapter flowed right out of me and I think it really showed both Chan and Felix's personalities. More coming up soon!
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated. Thank you! <3


	3. Cygnus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix gets hit by some balls, and not in a sexy way. Chan gets pretty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this at 1:30 am and I don't know if I can still proofread it but, here ya go!

"Your passé looked gorgeous, out of the box, revolutionary, groundbreaking." Minho continues, arms outstretched to prove a point. "It was amazingly breathtaking, now can we please for the love of God have lunch?"

Felix chooses to ignore the drama queen huffing by the door, wrapped in a soaked hoodie with a perpetual frown on his face. The blonde grabs onto the railing, stretches a pointed leg out and sighs at how his posture looks in the mirror. "You go ahead, I just have to finish this routine."

"You've been _finishing_ this routine for five hours now, Lix." Minho pleads, "What you need to finish is some food, and I can certainly help with that. We can even swing by that vegan cafe you like."

The younger catches Minho's eye from the mirror, sees the frustrated expression on the other's face and the evil part in Felix's precious little heart (which, his brother would argue, is all of it) wants to be a bit more stubborn. "Just give me fifteen minutes, I'll catch up with you at the Doing It Raw."

"I hate you so much." Minho groans out, resolutely ignoring the cheeky grin Felix is shooting him. "For the last time, it's called Raw Revival."

"Right, must've slipped my mind." Felix runs a towel over his face, is mildly disgusted at how much his shirt is sticking to his skin when Minho relents, "If you're not there in fifteen minutes I'm not enduring another spin class with you."

That catches Felix's attention, narrowing his eyes at the other as Minho's smirk turns even more victorious. The blonde nods his head reluctantly as Minho skips out of the studio. Felix rewinds the piece, figures he has at least one more set he can get away with doing before Minho comes storming back to drag Felix out of the room.

He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes to feel the notes flowing in his ears. He can imagine the melody pulling his body like a string, each flick of his finger and lift of his leg mirroring marks on music sheets. Felix feels the familiar burn of his muscles as he glides into a pirouette, spins in time with the beat as he readies himself for another lift.

Felix has been going over this transition for days now, never quite satisfied with how he lands or how he initiates. His facial expressions tend to strain during the saut de chat, and he curses internally for putting himself in this situation. He had landed himself in a ski accident a few weeks before he moved to Korea, the result of an ill-advised impromptu trip to commemorate what he thought would be his last few days of freedom before Christopher would come in to sweep him off his feet.

It's been causing some difficulties with his dancing, his mostly-healed knee still tingling when a room gets too cold. Nothing he can't handle, Felix thinks. It's a muscle, for goodness sake, he's supposed to use it. Besides, he's done worse things to his knees.

Felix was just about to go into his arabesque when the music is interrupted by a call. The blonde huffs, rolling his eyes in annoyance before he sees that it's Chan, of all people, calling him. He'd like to think that he kept his cool when he answered the phone, wishes his panting sounded more sexy and less like he's on the brink of death. Chan asks him if he's free for the afternoon and of course, Felix is free. He always is for Chan, but he doesn't mention that.

The raven-haired boy asks him to hang out since they haven't been together in a while, and Felix shoves his belongings in his bag and almost trips out of the doorway when Chan asks him if he's good to meet in two hours or so. Minho shoots him an odd look as the blonde practically inhales his lunch, but he figures the restaurant would be glad to see his enthusiasm.

Felix is bursting at the seams as he changes into new clothes, haphazardly going through his closet like a man on a mission. He curses himself for not asking Chan where they were going, that way he can actually prepare something appropriate. Would it be a nice restaurant, a cozy drive-in, an apartment booty call, what is it? Felix has no idea.

He figures going with a nice sweater would do the trick, and Felix is in the middle of putting in his contacts when he hears his brother enter the apartment. "Why are you home again?"

Changbin raises an eyebrow at Felix as he opens their fridge, cracks a bottle of sparkling water before speaking, "This is my house too, you know. Why are you all dressed up? Didn't you just get home from class?"

"Don't you have a Seungmin to bother or something?" Felix revels at the expression on his brother's face, finds it even funnier how Changbin is struggling not to look taken aback by it.

"I think you have the pathetic pining covered for the both of us, Lix."

Felix throws a used tissue in his direction as Changbin cackles, "So you _are_ pining over this 'Seungmin' kid. Why haven't I met them yet? Do they have a restraining order against you?"

"I'm not pining, and he's not a kid." Felix gapes at his brother's words, lets the pronoun sink in for a while longer. Changbin throws himself on the couch, which Felix would have scolded him for if he wasn't busy going through the strongest cognitive dissonance of his life. "He's the same age as you."

Felix finally finds his voice again, figures his brother would be the only one capable of such a blasé admission. He doesn't miss the stiffness in his brother's shoulders, notes how stock still he's remained waiting for his brother's response. The blonde makes a face, "Ew, why would you go for someone the same age as me, you perv."

The tie loosens just like that, and the acknowledgment flows between them like water. Changbin turns to him, dumbfounded. "I'm the same age as Chan, genius."

"That's different."

"How?"

"It just is." Felix adds a careless shrug as a response, double checks his bag for his things before slipping his shoes on. "I'm going out with Chan, don't wait up."

Changbin nods as he settles back against the couch, flipping through channels absentmindedly. "Alright, I'll be praying for his safety."

"Don't make me beat you up, this outfit's not made for stretching."

******************************************

When Felix had imagined hanging out with just Chan, he pictured something with a little more wine, maybe some music and a chilly room as the perfect excuse to come closer. He was hoping for something a little more personal, maybe physical if he was being honest with himself and his month-long celibacy.

Whatever scenario he had imagined when he thought about getting physical with Chan, this was definitely not one of them.

The raven-haired man was now strapping on an ugly, green vest over Felix's designer, cashmere sweater. He's wrapping his arms around the younger only to pull the straps of his godforsaken _armor_ tighter, making sure it doesn't loosen up when he starts running in a few minutes.

_Him_ , running. Changbin would have a field day with the knowledge.

Chan does place a hand over Felix's own, only to position it around a heavy-duty paintball gun and to show him how to shoot properly. The blonde nods absentmindedly, tries not to scream at the other for taking him to paintball of all things. Felix figures this is all his fault, didn't ask Chan exactly where they were headed when he slipped into his loafers. They're Saint Laurent and not made for running _or_ paint.

They're on the same team, and that at least gives Felix an opportunity to huddle closer to the other. He could play the 'damsel in distress' act, scared little Bambi Chan would have to protect with his own life. Felix can turn this around, he thinks. He's never been one to back out of any opportunity. If getting closer to Chan would mean battling it out with sweaty, adrenaline junkies in a sublimated shooting range, so be it.

"Have you ever shot before?" Chan asks. Would body shots count? Felix contemplates. He thinks that maybe he can bring up the time when he used water guns to win at a pool party game. But then again, that was a poorly concealed orgy wrapped in a neon swimsuit, so maybe not.

He gives the older a noncommittal shrug, which Chan seems to think is adorable as he ruffles Felix's hair. "Don't worry, Swan Lake. I'll watch your back."

I've been trying to get you to look at my back for the longest time, you frustratingly hot gremlin. Felix settles for a smile, "Thanks, Chan-hyung."

Chan leaves him momentarily to grab a drink before the game starts, which according to the blaring timer on top of the rows of paintball guns, would be in three minutes. Felix groans in annoyance for the first time without Chan around, scans his gun warily as he measures the weight of the metal in his hands.

"Your first time here?" Felix hears from beside him, and he turns to look at another man fixing his gear. He's dressed too nicely for a paintball session, much like Felix is, though there's something dangerous about him. One look at the gaudy orange on his chest tells Felix he's on the opposing team.

"Would it be wise for me to tell the enemy?" He asks, and Felix almost backtracks at his words, hates how he's wired to sound flirty and teasing with every line. The man obviously takes it as a green light.

"Maybe not, but isn't it more fun that way?" He's tall, Felix notes. Smooth in a way most of his exes were, smile predatory and practiced. Maybe it's the stuffiness of the air, or the tightness of his gear, or the nagging voice in his head telling him that this clearly isn't a date that Felix finds himself replying.

"I don't know, do I look like I'm a lot of fun?" He bites back and the stranger's eyes darken as they stare into Felix's faux innocent ones. Felix laughs, a twinkly little giggle that he knows lures them in, when Chan appears beside him.

The older startles him with a cold drink pressed to his arm, and Felix remembers how Changbin would do the same to him, which is not even remotely promising. Chan notices the other man's presence beside Felix, and the younger searches his expression for anything close to jealousy when Chan speaks up, "Hey, you got a new friend?"

Felix can feel a headache coming at his words. How old does Chan think he is, eight? Is this a fucking playdate with these rage-addicted randos? The stranger settles for a halfhearted laugh, taps Felix's shoulder to mouth a simple 'good luck' before walking away.

The blonde turns to Chan with a wide smile on his face, "You know what, this is a great idea. I think shooting people in the face is exactly what I need right now."

Chan is too excited to even correct him.

The raven-haired boy does keep his promise to Felix, choosing to stay by the blonde's side as they go through the arena as stealthily as they can. The younger is thankful that he's chosen to wear something without a heel this time, which keeps them from making a sound as they run across the metal bridges. Felix thinks that his plan may be working with how tightly Chan is allowing him to clutch onto his arm, and he hides his face against the older's (well-built, incredibly toned) back when Chan shoots a man point blank in the chest as he runs out of hiding from behind a metal drum for poor camouflage.

Felix has to admit, watching Chan focused and sweating, bullets swiping past his temple as they dodge the opponents' attacks, makes him feel a little hot under the collar. Chan wraps an arm around Felix securely as he pulls the younger down to hide behind a concrete post. The blonde's breathing seems irregular when Chan whispers near his ear, "I need to get the flag on the other side to win this, Lix. They're definitely guarding it but if I creep up on them from behind the barracks, we might have a shot." Chan breathes heavily, loads up his gun which Felix tries not to get distracted by.

"I need you to stay here, keep yourself hidden. I'll come back once I have the flag, okay?" Felix's eyes widen at that, and he grasps at Chan's shirt tighter to keep him from leaving. "What? No. I'm going with you."

"We'll be better at avoiding them if it's just me. Don't worry, I won't take long." Chan reassures him, but Felix's apprehension doesn't shrink a bit. "You have a gun, just shoot them if they come at you."

"I don't know how to do that, Chan. I've been surviving solely behind your back the whole time." Felix insists and Chan has the audacity to chuckle, "This is not funny. What if they shoot me first?"

"Swan Lake, that's kind of the point of paintball." Felix fixes him with a look as Chan sighs, "Just stay low. I'll be back, I promise."

Felix was gearing up to protest again when Chan pulls out of his grasp, running out of their spot to go do God knows what. Who does he think he is, fucking Liam Neeson or some shit? This is paintball, not the apocalypse. Felix sighs, part in annoyance and wariness of where he's currently situated. He feels vulnerable without Chan, feels naked even under his pseudo armor.

He slowly peeks out from behind the cement, looks around and sees only empty space as he lifts himself off from where he's squatting down. Felix has never been one to stick by the rules, and without Chan by his side he doesn't think he's starting now. He walks as stealthily as he can past the barrier, looks side to side frantically for a flash of orange. Felix wracks his brain to remember the map they were shown in the beginning of the game, tries to place the pieces in his imagination to know the direction to take to get to Chan.

Felix hesitantly climbs on the bridge on the right, heart pounding at seeing the metal gaps on the floor and praying he doesn't get caught. He's at the other side of the arena now, bites his lip at the sight of another intersection that splits into two pathways. Felix momentarily thinks of going back to his hiding place to avoid any more of this turmoil when he suddenly feels a sharp pain on the back of his knee.

The blonde curses out loud as the sensation registers, buckles at the searing prickle of his skin. He can hear footsteps coming closer from his left, and Felix tries to look up as he hears a voice from above him. "Shit, are you okay? I didn't - I wasn't trying to-"

"Felix? What the hell?" He hears another, more familiar voice in front of him. Chan crouches down in front of the blonde, Felix slumping against the wall clutching his left leg. His hands shake, knee jerking at the slightest touch of his fingers.

He hears a barely concealed grunt, "You shot him in the leg?"

"I wasn't trying to - I was aiming for his-"

"I know exactly what you were aiming for." The tone is sharp, piercing. "I can take it from here, mate."

The blonde tries to stretch his leg out, groans in pain from the effort. The stranger moves closer to Felix as a reflex reaction, but Chan quickly shields his arm from reaching out. "I said I can take it from here."

"You should go." Felix doesn't miss the threat behind Chan's tone as he leans his head against the cool metal. The blonde looks up to see the stranger from earlier, swallowing heavily at the sight of Chan cocking the gun against his hip. "I like this place, man. I'd appreciate it if you don't get me banned."

The man nods wordlessly, shoots Felix an apologetic look before walking away. The younger breathes out, feels tears trickling down the sides of his eyes. "Fucking asshole, little Justin Timberlake wannabe. He knew exactly where he was pointing at."

Felix mutters under his breath, "Shit, Changbin's gonna kill me. Fucking kindergarten, pigtail-pulling bullshit."

He feels warm palms envelop his cheeks, tilting his head gently to look up. "Bub, look at me."

"Hey, I'm here. You're okay." Chan whispers, wipes two thumbs against Felix's freckles. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have left you here."

"Does it hurt that badly?" Chan asks, and Felix rolls his eyes even in the midst of an emotional breakdown. "No, G.I. Joe. I'm just on the floor clutching my leg in pain because I like sitting on disgusting, poorly-maintained surfaces."

Chan simply smiles at his remark, "There's my Swan." Felix tries not to soften under the other's fond gaze. The raven-haired boy wraps his arms around the older's neck as he lifts Felix off the ground, "Come on, we can get out of here and have your leg checked out."

Felix nods, suddenly feeling bashful being in the center of Chan's attention. He cranes his neck to stretch, sees the tip of an orange-colored flag peeking out from Chan's waist as they walk out of the arena.

The blonde explains his injury on the way over to Chan's apartment, (which he has never been in, and Felix tries to ignore the way his heart pounds at the thought) and insists that he knows his body well enough for the pain not to warrant a trip to the doctor. Chan doesn't seem convinced, is halfway into turning the car around to go to the nearest clinic when Felix promises that he'll gladly go with the other if he still feels pain after icing it at Chan's home.

Chan insists on carrying Felix all the way up to his apartment, the building as ornate and expensive as Felix's own. Chan's apartment feels drastically different, more lived in and cozy. There are some cups left in the sink, a few photographs of his friends and even more of his family. His couch feels like a blessing as Felix sinks down on it, and Chan hurries to grab an ice pack from his fridge.

The older comes back with two ice packs, a towel and a drink for the younger. Chan opens the bottle for him, which makes Felix feel more like a kid than it should, and takes a sip. The coldness of the pack startles him at first, causing Chan's eyes to widen in alarm before Felix leans back against the couch, feels the familiar sensation soothe his ligaments into relaxing.

Felix is half-tempted to moan out exaggeratedly, just to see how Chan would react when the other is solely focused on his expressions. The blonde clears his throat, "I feel better now, thank you."

Chan nods, "That's good, I'm glad." The raven-haired boy settles beside Felix on the other side of the couch, "Your brother would kill me once he finds out I got you out for paintball when you're injured."

The other's words leave a bitter taste in Felix's mouth, stings a bit like Chan cares about his brother's opinion more than Felix's safety. "He doesn't know anyway, don't worry about it."

"Why would you hide it from him?" Chan asks, eyebrows raised in accusatory manner. Felix scoffs at the other's tone.

"I'm not hiding it from him, I just didn't tell him. There's a difference. Besides," Felix reaches out to grab the remote on the coffee table, suddenly uninterested at the way the conversation's going. "It's my business. I'll tell him if he needs to know."

Felix mindlessly flips through Chan's Netflix queue, doesn't even wait to ask permission from the other as he scans through the choices. He can feel the other's gaze on the side of his face. "I forget, sometimes."

"You forget what?" Chan smiles at him, a little somber. Felix doesn't know how to feel about it.

"I forget that you're not ten anymore." Chan reaches out to brush a stray strand of hair falling on Felix's forehead. "You take care of things on your own, now."

Felix snorts, "I can handle my alcohol better than Changbin, if that tells you anything of what I can handle." The blonde waits for Chan's familiar chuckle but the older remains silent.

The raven-haired boy claps a hand on the younger's thigh as he rises out of his seat, "It did seem like you're more of an adult now with the way you were flirting with that guy earlier." Chan comments teasingly as he rummages through his cabinets, laying out bowls on his kitchen counter.

Felix doesn't dare hope, but he asks. "What, are you jealous or something?"

"No." Chan replies easily, and Felix hears the searing of the pan from where he's turned back to face the older. "Just a bit overprotective, I guess. This is probably how Changbin acts around you all the time, isn't i-"

"I'm starving." Felix cuts him off, feels a pit of dread in the middle of his stomach, "Kimchi fried rice for the injured one, please."

Chan chuckles, shoots him a careless smile Felix tries his best to mirror. "Sure, anything for the demanding one."

The easy silence echoes as they lounge on the love seat, and for the first time since they met Felix is uncomfortable with the thought of getting closer to Chan. The other's words are banging around his head like blocks, as if forcing him to wake up from his little fantasy. Is that what he thinks of himself around me? Felix thinks. Chan takes care of him, called him 'bub' and that stupid Swan nickname and let Felix pull him closer on the dance floor because he thinks he's Felix's _brother?_ What the fresh hell is that all about?

Is Chan in too deep? Is the image of Felix as a snot-nosed little kid, stumbling in his heelys always going to be in the back of Chan's mind? Felix's thoughts race even with Chan seemingly unaffected beside him. The bowl feels heavier on Felix's lap as he looks down at the kimchi fried rice, snorts at the sight of the egg in the middle carefully carved into a smiley face. He doesn't know if he wants to cry into the dish or throw it directly down Chan's pants.

"Why do you call me Swan Lake?" Felix asks abruptly, anything to fill the silence behind the overused romantic trope playing on the television. Chan's head snaps towards him with a hum.

Felix repeats the question and Chan turns to face him with both legs tucked under. "What's with the sudden need to know?"

The blonde places the bowl on the table, stops the show before Chan could protest. "I'm curious. You've called me Swan Lake for what, five years now? And I've never really known why."

Chan leans back against his seat, smiles awkwardly at the other as he brushes a hand down his hair. "I mean, it's just what I've been calling you since forever and-"

"No, you used to call me Lixie and even before that you called me twinkles just because my abhorrent excuse for a brother did when I started doing ballet." Felix counters as Chan's lips purse from his airtight argument. "What? Tell me."

Chan fiddles with the fabric at the end of the couch's arm, a defeated sigh passing from his lips. "I guess I've," He begins, "You know I used to really nerd out on astronomy when I was eleven or twelve, and I looked up all these constellations. I even wanted to work for NASA at one point, since I read an article saying that they were-"

Felix hums, shoots him a look as if to say 'go on' and Chan chuckles helplessly at his stubbornness, continues. "Right, moving on. You were born in September."

"Thanks for the heads up, Captain Obvious. I never would have guessed." The raven-haired boy laughs at the snarky remark, shakes his head like he can't quite understand the blonde.

Chan leans forward and Felix almost backs away at the suddenness. The older lifts a delicate finger, hovers the tip at the bottom of Felix's chin. "You were born in September, and you have," Chan runs his hand slowly above Felix's cheeks, making goosebumps rise up on his skin.

Felix can see Chan up close at this angle, sees the faint hint of a stubble on the side of his chin and a dark mark on his left cheek. He looks more alive like this, a little piece of heaven Felix is close enough to touch. He wants to reach out to do so when Chan's finger stops at the side of his nose, "Your freckles from here," his finger slides lower, "down to here, and all the ones," Chan doesn't lift his finger from Felix's face. The blonde thinks he can probably hear the slightest wisp of the wind if he focuses hard enough, "here, and to here. They form Cygnus, it's um,"

The brown in the older's irises looks more vibrant like this. Felix holds his breath, "It's the Swan Constellation, more visible in September."

"Yeah?" Felix swallows heavily, and he would have noticed Chan doing the same if he wasn't so focused on his own nerve endings feeling like live wire.

Chan nods, there's a flash of emotion in his eyes Felix can't quite place as he continues, "I told you you had the stars on your skin, remember?"

Felix stares into Chan's own, opens his mouth to speak when the raven-haired boy pulls away as quickly as he came, shrugging carelessly to himself on the far end of the sofa. Chan chuckles, a hollow little sound. "So um, yeah. I got it from that, I guess. Plus the fact that you gave me an origami swan when you were nine, which was adorable by the way."

Chan busies himself with the remote, fiddles with the settings like he has nothing else to do before turning to Felix. "You still wanna watch this one or do you have something else in mind?"

Felix stares at Chan for a beat too long, turning the events over in his head. He answers, "Yeah. Yeah, I think we should change it up a bit."

******************************************

Felix marches into the building like a warrior in full gear, arms full of boxes with the rest being dragged by his brother from behind him. Changbin pants as he tugs at the cardboard, Hyunjin exerting the bare minimum at helping him carry the load.

"Can you at least pretend you're helping me?" Changbin complains as Hyunjin examines his nails.

"Sorry, can't. Modeling." Hyunjin replies nonchalantly as the older groans. Felix hears the exchange as he waits for the two to reach the stairs. He shoots Hyunjin an expectant look as the other huffs, resignedly lowering down to help Changbin with carrying the other side of the box.

"Fucking divas, all of you. And you're not even a Lee." Changbin tries to shout, but it comes out more muffled as Hyunjin helps him up the stairs by letting all the weight fall behind. Hyunjin climbs the stairs effortlessly, holding the cardboard with two fingers on one side.

Felix is greatly entertained by his brother's misery, lights up even more at seeing Chan going down the stairs to meet them at the entrance. The blonde waves excitedly, and the older mirrors his actions. He doesn't miss the box when Felix drops it into his arms without warning. Felix is glad he has the other trained by now.

"Hey. Is this everything?" Chan asks, and Felix tilts his head to the image of Changbin heaving like a dying animal on the steps of the Dongbu Senior Center. Hyunjin looks less than amused.

"We still have some boxes in the car. Wanna help us out?" Felix says, more demanding than asking, as Chan wordlessly puts out his hand for Felix's keys. The younger drops them unceremoniously, and the two finally reach him by the door after eons of a literal push and pull.

"Your brother's kind of weak. He needs to go to the gym more." Hyunjin comments and Changbin pants helplessly in front of them, probably plotting the model's slow and painful death in his head.

Felix feels a spark of giddiness as he walks inside the center's auditorium, with tables lined up and the women (along with some men) seated facing the stage. He greets the familiar faces excitedly, goes through the how are you's and pleasantries that leave him buzzing with energy. Felix thanks them for signing up, introduces Changbin and Hyunjin as they give out the samples to each table and help the women arrange them according to what they'll be using for the day.

"I brought a friend that will help me demonstrate how to use the make-up better. He's a model, very pretty too." The women giggle at his words, and laugh even more when Changbin, in all his pseudo biker gang aesthetic, jokingly comes closer to the podium. Hyunjin shyly approaches the middle of the room, waves delicately at the residents who seem to be entranced by his beauty.

"This is Hyunjin, he probably introduced himself to you guys earlier. He'll be my muse today." Felix continues, helping Hyunjin settle in his seat. "With my skills and a lot of luck, we can probably make him half as pretty as me."

Hyunjin kicks him in the shin at the comment, but Felix's smile doesn't dim at the sight of the residents cackling at his antics. Chan seems to be amused, as he walks inside the room with two boxes in tow. Felix ignores the stupid fluttering in his stomach and turns to Hyunjin to begin.

Make-up is definitely more fun with people, even more so with students who don't know half of what they're doing and the other half being confused at how 'make-up wasn't handled like this in their time'. Nonetheless, everybody was enjoying learning new things. They 'ooh'd and 'ahh'd at the right moments, and Felix preens at the compliments. The blonde jokes around with some of the residents, approaches different tables to guide them firsthand. His heart feels fuller like this, like he's part of something worth doing. The residents are so welcoming, reminds Felix of his own grandparents and how they have nurtured him into someone confident in his own skin.

Felix spots Chan hovering by the door a few times, popping by to check on their progress but never actually stepping inside. His lips lift into a smirk as he sees the older staying longer than he did all the other times. Felix clears his throat, "Here's an idea. Since we're done with Hyunjin's smokey eye look, why don't we go for a daytime date look? Kind of sweet and demure?"

The residents nod, looking around as Changbin grips his chair too tight on the other side of the room. Felix calls out, "Chan-ssi, so nice of you to volunteer as our new muse. Since you're already here and all." The raven-haired boy's eyes widen at his words, and Changbin laughs out loud enough for the residents to quickly catch on to Felix's plan.

Chan tries to bolt away but Felix is faster, blame it on the years of dance and cheer leading practice, as he drags the other to the middle of the room. The older, despite being several pounds of hard muscle, pouts as he sits down on the stool. Felix resists the urge to laugh, since Chan would definitely walk away if he does, and resorts to rummaging through his make-up bag for the color palettes he would be needing.

The older flinches at the first touch of the brush on his eyelid, "Calm down, Chan. This is a tiny brush, not a screwdriver."

"Please don't talk about screwdrivers when you're poking me in the eye." Chan pleads, and Felix hates how he still thinks all of this whining is endearing.

"Quit being such a baby." The blonde argues, dabs his brush a little more delicately than he would have for himself, "The senior ladies are watching, they'll bully you if you show them weakness."

Chan laughs at that, Felix hits his arm for moving. "Of course, wouldn't want to be bullied into handing over my garden time credits."

Felix focuses on teaching and mastering his work after that, throws a few pointers which he's glad the residents are taking seriously as they go through the steps. Chan fidgets in his seat at first, but soon relaxes at the less invasive parts of the routine. Felix had to wrestle his arm free from Chan's grasp when he came at the older with the eyelash curler, but he succeeds in the end.

The blonde is in the middle of putting lipgloss on Chan's lips (which he definitely had to steel himself from thinking about) when the other whispers, "Thank you."

Felix replies distractedly, thinks of whether this color would be best for Chan's eyeshadow. "For what?"

"For bringing all this stuff around for free, for hanging out with them. I know they're not the most energetic company, so thank you." Felix snorts at that, and Chan opens his eyes to stare into Felix's own. "For caring."

Felix is momentarily taken aback by how honest and open Chan's gaze feels. He shakes it off with a shrug, "It's nothing, old people are fun to be with. I mean, I hang out with you, don't I?"

Chan grins in disbelief at Felix's jesting tone. "It's nice seeing this side of you."

The blonde doesn't know how to take Chan's words, choosing to focus on uselessly fixing Chan's highlight on the top of his right cheekbone. "What do you mean, the side that isn't shallow and narcissistic?"

"No." The raven-haired boy frowns at his words, doesn't seem to take it as funny as Felix intended it to be. "I see so many sides of you sometimes it's hard to keep up with each of them."

"What, do I have several personalities in one? Is that what you're saying?"

"Can't you take a compliment?" Chan counters, and Felix is immensely amused at the frustration in Chan's tone. He swipes another color on the older's lips and motions for him to rub his lips together.

"You call that a compliment, Bang? Just tell me I'm pretty and go, that's a compliment." Felix busies himself with scanning Chan's face for anything he might have missed before ending the session.

"Fine." Chan relents, shoots him a teasing smile. "You're very pretty. How was that?"

Felix hates the fact that Chan finds it amusing to compliment him, takes it as an inside joke instead of actually meaning it. He stamps down the urge to lash out.

"Perfect, but I think you take the crown for pretty today." Felix turns to face the audience, all of which are a mixture of confused and awed by Chan's transformation. The blonde pats himself on the back for the reaction.

"What do you think, Chan?" Felix asks as the other sees a glimpse of his own reflection after turning the chair to the other side. The older's eyes widen in response, turns to see Felix's smug smirk.

"You're right, I'm definitely prettier than Hyunjin and you combined."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! So I was thinking about dividing this into longer chapters before, but I figured the outline could still follow the number with the same timeline.
> 
> We're one chapter away from the romance, the drama, and the resolution so I hope you guys stay for the ride! Comments and kudos are always, again, always appreciated. Thank you so much <3


	4. Truth or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chan wants to be Felix's _best_ best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! So, this gets a little angsty as they always do before the last chapters of my works. I was planning on wrapping everything up in this chapter, but it felt kind of rushed so I've decided for the first time to let a work have five chapters instead of my usual 3 or 6. I hope you guys like this one, it gets a lil bit steamy and dramatic at the end.
> 
> Also, IF YOU COULD CHECK OUT MY SEUNGJIN ON MY MAIN @monlune THAT WOULD BE GREAT! Come yell at me on twitter @aggieyos too :)

"Places, everybody!"

This, Felix thinks, is something he can recognize in English and in Korean. The familiar thrumming of his veins in anticipation, the tightening of his lungs as he hears the shuffling from the other side of the curtain, these are all so familiar to the blonde it feels like muscle memory.

The blonde adjusts the straps of his costume, checking his outfit and make-up in the mirror at the same time. He feels a wave of pride at the sight, thinks of how grueling the days of practice have been for him. But the semester's ending and it's almost bittersweet for him to part with the routine he's been cursing the hell out of months prior.

"We're out in three." Eunji, a girl he recognizes from his Tuesday morning elective, calls out and Felix breathes deeply at the reminder. He sees Minho from the other side of the room, dressed in the same attire only in black. The contrast between the two would look amazing on the stage, Felix thinks.

They hear the stage director calling out for the teams and both Minho and Felix hurry to rush out of the waiting room. The blonde hears the cheering louder now, fails at biting back a smile from the excitement. He locks eyes with Minho again and shakes his hands to get rid of the nerves, mind focused on the creak of the curtains.

The routine ends without a hitch, and Felix is determined to stamp down the urge to find a recording of his performance as quickly as possible in favor of embracing the cheers of his friends. Hyunjin wrestles him into a bone-crushing hug, blabbering excitedly about how good the stage looked and how amazing Felix's solo was. He's never seen Hyunjin this talkative around other people and it made pride swell up in Felix's chest.

Jisung awkwardly stumbles over to Minho, offers a bouquet of colorful peonies even with the loud jeers of their friend group. Chan goes up to him last, a wide smile on his face and a bouquet of white flowers in his right hand. Felix almost loses it on the spot.

"You came." Felix begins, and Chan scoffs like he can't believe the other would assume otherwise. The taller pulls him closer by the waist, whispers a soft 'always' and Felix is tempted to tell everybody else to go home so he can have the other to himself. He hates that the older doesn't know how Felix's stupid heart takes these things.

There's something brimming on the surface these days, Felix thinks. It's an unspoken tension, that he desperately hopes isn't one-sided, a quiet sort of hum beneath his relationship with Chan. He looks down at the bouquet, "What are these?"

"Gardenias." Chan replies, amused. "Figured you would like them better if you weren't uprooting them from a pot."

"Oh my God, let it go." Felix insists, ignoring Chan's grin. "I was seven and you were voluntarily wearing _polo shirts_. If someone's getting made fun of at that time, it definitely wouldn't be me."

Chan only pinches his side in retaliation. Felix laughs, glances around as he speaks, "Where's Changbin? I think I saw his annoying face in the crowd earlier."

"This world wouldn't be that cursed with having two of him, I'm sure." Felix adds as Hyunjin snorts loudly.

Jisung looks up from his phone. "He's here, he was just getting stuff from the car or something. We're going out for dinner."

They decided to walk out to the parking lot and meet Changbin there, since they'll be leaving the auditorium anyway. Minho's in the middle of telling Felix about this stagehand he swears is a pervert when the blonde sees Changbin leaning against an unfamiliar car with an all too pleased smile on his face.

Felix comments, "We've been waiting inside for ages and you're just here being a creep?"

"I wasn't, I was getting your gift." Changbin defends, tilting his head to gesture to the car. The midnight black looks even sleeker under the streetlights.

"What do you mean you were getting my-" Felix is cut off by the sound of the driver's side door opening, and a familiar figure sliding out of the car. The leather looks the same on the other, customized and fitting like a glove.

Felix gapes as the man shoots him an amused smile. "Congratulations, Angel."

The blonde squeals, runs into the other's embrace as his arms pull Felix in like some sort of automatic. The younger jumps high enough to wrap his legs around the other's waist, burying his face in the crook of the man's neck. "You happy to see me, baby?"

Felix nods frantically, clinging onto the other tighter and forgetting the little audience they're gathering from the display. Their group of friends are perplexed at Felix's reaction, while Changbin smiles in satisfaction on one side. The blonde has missed Seungcheol so much, and he smells a lot like home. Felix feels tears prickling the sides of his eyes at the warmth the other's body is radiating.

Seungcheol manages to pry the other out of the embrace and pull him back down. Felix reluctantly follows, remembers how he must have looked when he literally jumped into the man's arms with a tiny cry. Felix ignores the red in his cheeks as he speaks, "Guys, this is Seungcheol, my friend."

The group greets him politely as Hyunjin breaks the silence, "We should go, we're gonna be late for our reservation." He shoots Felix a glance, "Is he coming with us?"

Felix nods and Chan clears his throat, holding onto his car keys. "Still call shotgun, Swan Lake?"

"No, it's okay. I'll meet you guys there, I'll go with Cheol." Chan fiddles with his keys, stares at Felix for a moment before nodding and slipping into his car. Hyunjin raises a curious eyebrow between Felix and Seungcheol, walks over to hand a bouquet in Felix's hand.

"You dropped this when you ran, hun." Hyunjin emphasizes, the gardenias looking less bunched together than they were before. "We'll go ahead."

Felix feels embarrassment pooling in his gut as he looks down at the bouquet, and Seungcheol nudges him from the side. "Those look nice."

The blonde rolls his eyes as he pulls on the passenger's side door. He slips inside and hates how even the smell of Seungcheol's car reminds him of his life before Korea. "They do. You didn't get me anything?"

"I brought myself, with my dick attached to me." Seungcheol comments nonchalantly as he adjusts the rearview mirror. He smirks darkly at the younger, "You used to think that was a present, didn't you?"

He remembers that too, and his body still does unfortunately. "Just drive before I kick you out of your own car."

They reach the restaurant in ten minutes, and Felix is already full-on laughing even before reaching the table at the sight of Jisung doing a poor imitation of some cheesy Korean drama they've been binge-watching since last month. He settles beside Seungcheol easily, the man slinging an arm around the back of Felix's chair that the blonde pretends doesn't catch the eyes of his friends.

Felix feels at peace like this, and he's thankful that almost everybody has taken to including Seungcheol in the conversation like they didn't just meet him five minutes ago. Seungcheol, with all his effortless confidence and charm, holds his own. Felix couldn't stop staring at the other, feels this overwhelming sense of belonging just by looking at him. The blonde is happy enough to overlook the fact that his brother went behind his back to orchestrate this and he hates surprises, of all things.

"Felix," He hears from beside him, and Seungcheol chuckles. "They were asking us how we met, baby."

"You tell them." Felix answers, leans half against the other's chest. "I'm tired." He's kind of looking forward to going home, getting some rest and pulling Seungcheol over to his couch like he used to do after his recitals.

Seungcheol nods and goes into his story, capturing the attention of everybody in the room like he always does, except for one. Felix can feel Chan's stare from the opposite side of the table, looks back at the older only to see an unrecognizable look in his eyes. Chan's gaze subtly drops down to where Felix is playing with Seungcheol's fingers near the cutlery and the blonde remembers how they must look to other people. The food finally arrives, and Felix doesn't let go of their hands from under the table. He knows the others must notice, but he can't bring himself to care.

"How old did you say you were?" Chan interrupts, cutting Hyunjin off from telling Seungcheol about his trip to London, where Seungcheol stays at times.

They glance around and the question must be directed to no one else but their new friend. Seungcheol smirks at the remark, "I didn't but, I'm twenty-eight."

Chan nods, slices his steak in one neat swipe. "So you're what, nine years older than Felix?" The raven-haired boy doesn't spare them a glance, focused on his food. "Must be nice."

Seungcheol leans back against his seat like he's amused, and Felix doesn't understand the question. He places a hand on Seungcheol's thigh as the other replies like it's a challenge, "What must be nice?"

Chan stares right back, and there's something in the air that Felix can't quite place. The other bites his cheek, moves forward to reply when Jisung speaks loudly, "The _food_ , Chan thinks that the food must be nice. The restaurant's nice, the company's nice, you know. We're all just _playing nice._ "

They move on to other topics after that, and Seungcheol pulls Felix closer to draw lazy circles on his shoulder. The blonde hums contentedly, never leaving the raven-haired man's side even as they settle the check. Their friends congratulate Minho and Felix again, shower them with compliments that the two try their best to shrug off. Felix hits Changbin in the arm and hugs him afterwards for the surprise, while the rest shuffle out of the restaurant.

Felix waits outside of the restroom for Seungcheol, scrolling through his phone mindlessly to pass time. He hears his name being called out from his side, looks up to see Chan walking towards him.

"Why are you still here? Come on, I can drop you off." Chan tells him, and Felix shakes his head.

"That's okay, Cheol's coming over at mine anyway so." Felix mentions, "You go, Changbin's annoying when he's drunk. Hyunjin might accidentally throttle him."

"He's staying with you?" Chan prods, and Felix is confused. "Yeah, where else would he stay?"

"Why is he making you wait outside? Just tell him I'll drop you off and he can follow after."

Felix laughs at that, "Chan, that doesn't make sense. He's in the bathroom, not the war. Contrary to popular belief, I can wait more than five minutes for people."

Chan pauses, "Right. Of course." He looks like he doesn't know what he's agreeing to. "I'm just gonna go."

The raven-haired boy glances at Felix like he's waiting for something, and the younger shoots him a confused wave before the older walks out the door. Seungcheol comes to his side in record time.

Felix turns to the other as he straps on his seatbelt, "How long are you staying?"

"Few days, longer if you need me to." Seungcheol replies, pulling Felix's hand over the gear shift. He remembers how much the older used to do that back home. "You got some room for me?"

"You know I always do."

************************************************************

Felix forgets the world with Seungcheol, like he always does whenever the other is around. The man knows him too well, has turned him inside out and can write sonnets on his body like no one else has so far. He spends two days with the other never leaving the room, Changbin exiling himself from the apartment on his own since he knows how Felix gets with Seungcheol around.

Lying in bed with Seungcheol felt like longing and a year of almost love. Felix thinks that Seungcheol could have been it for him if he wasn't so hung up over Chan. He and Seungcheol share a bond, something he hasn't quite gotten a hold of, and it didn't go away even after they broke up. It was still there, like a piece of home he can share a night with.

Seungcheol traces a finger down Felix's back, "The boy at the restaurant the other day, was that him?"

"You know it was."

The older laughs, "Yeah, I guess I do. He looked like he wanted to hit me when I held you."

Felix scoffs, "Ignore that, he thinks I'm his brother, for fuck's sake." The blonde rolls over and Seungcheol's fingers move to his collarbone. The older presses on a dark mark that's not even close to fading.

"Yet, you're still in love with him, aren't you?" Felix's silence is enough of a reply, and Seungcheol kisses his shoulder. "Why am I here, then?"

"Because you're easy and you're obsessed with me." Felix teases, and Seungcheol bites him playfully. "I missed you, okay? Besides, I'm starting to think it's never going to happen, anyway." The blonde swallows, the words stretching around his throat like a hard pill.

Seungcheol sighs, "I have him naked and he's thinking about someone else. I feel used."

Felix laughs at that, lifts himself off the bed to straddle Seungcheol, who only puts his hands behind his head with a smirk. "Shut up, I'll show _you_ used."

Seungcheol leaves in the morning after three days with Felix, and Changbin doesn't comment about how long he's had to endure being kicked out of his own apartment and simply sprays their entire house with disinfectant, including Felix at one point.

Felix is lazing around in his room, thankful that the summer break leaves him with nothing else to worry about when his phone rings, "Ah, it has resurfaced for air after sucking dick for three days."

"Fuck you. What do you want?" Felix replies distractedly. Hyunjin laughs at the other end of the line.

"We're going out the day after tomorrow, to some beach house Chan's family owns. You're coming." Hyunjin pauses, "Please don't wear a thong to the beach, I'm begging you."

Felix laughs, "Chan's there, no promises." Hyunjin groans resignedly and continues, "Changbin's bringing along Seungmin too. You can finally meet him there, it'll be great. Maybe you can help him come to his senses."

"I'm starting to think you're interested in my brother with how often you bring him up. Now you're plotting to destroy his relationship."

"Honey, I am the reason why your brother knows he's not straight. If I wanted to have him, I would have asked him with his dick still in my mouth."

"Wait, what?" Felix asks incredulously, "How many of our friends have you hooked up with, Jin?"

"I'm a very giving person."

"Clearly. I don't think you mind receiving, too." Hyunjin simply giggles at his response.

They plan the trip out on the group chat, with Chan and Changbin as designated drivers and the other four in-charge of shopping for the trip. Seungmin didn't get to join them for that, something about the other having to work his ass off to afford shit unlike the rest of Felix's friend group. They head out in the early morning, and Felix lets the overplayed music blare through Chan's expensive speakers.

Felix leans his head against the window, still in awe of how pretty Seoul looks in the early hours of the morning. He's momentarily startled at the sudden weight landing on his lap. Felix looks down and sees Chan's arm draped over his thighs carelessly.

He turns to the other with a questioning look. Chan doesn't tear his gaze away from the road. "I didn't get much sleep last night. Can you squeeze my hand to wake me up?"

"You want me to hold your hand?" Felix clarifies, and Chan simply turns his arm over, palm up on Felix's lap.

The blonde slips his fingers between Chan's, wills his pulse to calm at the feeling of skin against skin. Chan grips his hand tighter.

The house is grandiose and cozy at the same time, a feat he thinks can only be achieved effortlessly by the Bangs. Felix finally gets a better look at Seungmin as they settle in the living room. He looks like a puppy trying not to be in awe of his surroundings, Felix can kind of see the appeal. "Hey. Seungmin, right?" Felix asks as he gets himself comfortable on the couch, eyes never leaving the other's wary form.

"Yeah, and you're Felix. It's nice to finally meet you." Seungmin offers, and Changbin catches him mid-sentence as he drops their bags on the living room floor.

"Trust me, it's never nice to meet my brother." Changbin pipes, turning to look at Felix with narrowed eyes. "What are you up to now?"

Felix throws his hands up in defense, "Nothing. I was just getting to know him, calm down." Felix tilts his head, "I wonder what my brother's threatening you with to be with him willingly."

"Blink twice if you need me to save you." Changbin throws a pillow at him and both Seungmin and Felix laugh at his reaction. Seungmin chastises him for causing a ruckus and letting the bags fall on top of each other. The brunet arranges the pile neatly, opens the pocket of his bag to fish out a bottle.

Seungmin turns to Changbin, "Go get some water and drink this. You told me you were feeling sick in the car and you're making yourself even more dizzy."

Felix stares at the two as Changbin slides wordlessly off of where he's sat on top of Felix, moving to grab a drink from the fridge. The blonde makes a face of mock disgust, thinks quietly about how the two could be good together judging by how mellow his brother is around Seungmin. Chan and Minho are busy in the kitchen sorting through their groceries, while Jisung and Hyunjin are already pre-gaming at the poolside.

They all find themselves by the pool eventually, Chan, Jisung and Hyunjin already in the water while Minho sits beside Felix on the lounge chairs. Minho asks Felix if he thinks there's a way to put sunscreen on some other person without it feeling vaguely sexual.

Seungmin pushes Changbin into the pool when he thought the other was leaning over to kiss him, making the bunch laugh out loud as Changbin sputters. Seungmin makes it up to the other by jumping in after, pecking his brother's cheek as an apology. Chan pulls himself out of the pool, droplets of water dripping down his torso and black board shorts riding low on his hips as he speaks, "Aren't you getting in soon?"

Minho shoots him a smile, mischief twinkling in his eyes. Felix fidgets under his white, threadbare shirt. "I don't think Felix can do that, hyung."

Chan pushes his hair back, and Felix's eyes catch the way his biceps flex at the movement. The blonde grips his chair tighter. "Why not?" Chan sits beside Felix on the chaise, touches his forehead in concern. "Are you feeling sick? You can go back to your room if you want."

Minho cackles at Chan's obliviousness. Felix glares at him. "If you happen to have a turtleneck swimsuit he can borrow, Felix can probably go."

The blonde leans forward to pinch Minho for being a snitch, only for his top to slip down his shoulders, revealing miles upon miles of marked skin. Chan doesn't miss the sight, and neither do any of their other friends.

Felix rolls his eyes. "You see children, when daddy and daddy love each other very much-"

Hyunjin snickers at Felix's words and Minho pushes the blonde playfully to stop him. Chan remains silent, looks down at his hands. "You've been with Seungcheol, then?"

"Yeah, I mentioned he was going to stay with me, right?" Felix answers, curious at Chan's tone.

The older bites his cheek and chuckles, "Seems like he did more than just stay with you."

"Stop." Felix whines in protest, "I've heard a lot from Changbin already. You don't need to go all 'helicopter mom' on me about this."

"He's twenty-eight."

"I know, Chan. Considering he's my ex-boyfriend, I think I would know better than anyone." Felix replies, annoyance bubbling in his stomach. "What's your deal? Cheol isn't even here anymore, anyway."

"You sound disappointed."

"So, what if I am?" Felix laughs incredulously, and Chan doesn't look like he thinks it's funny. "Why are you mad?"

"I'm not." Chan quickly refutes, grabs a towel from under Felix's legs and wipes down his hair. "You know I could never get mad at you." The raven-haired boy leaves it at that, looks at Felix for a moment before pushing from his seat and getting back inside the house.

Felix shoots Minho a bewildered look, but the other only shrugs in response.

They settled near the bonfire as the night came, beers and wine swirling through their tongues with loose-lipped confessions. Felix has heard more about his brother's sex life than he ever needed to know in his lifetime, and a game of never-have-I-ever revealed him to be the slut of the group. Surprise, surprise. Felix tips his head back and winks as he downs the shots one by one, earning a horrified expression from his brother and wolf-whistles from their friends.

They talk about anything and everything, and Felix can feel the familiar buzz hitting him enough to let him melt into the cushions. A few truth or dares come up, some as an excuse to make out with one another like a couple of teenagers at a middle school basement party. They manage to go through a lot more bottles and Jisung is drunk off his ass, with Minho hauling him over his shoulder and throwing a halfhearted goodbye to the group. Hyunjin jumps into the pool again while Seungmin and Changbin plan to take full advantage of the hot tub. Felix did _not_ need to know about that, thank you very much.

He lifts his head to see Chan looking at him intently, directly across the sofa. "Truth or dare, Swan Lake."

"Chan, everybody left already if you haven't noticed." The other doesn't let up, simply stares back at the younger as he sighs. "Okay, then. Truth."

"Did you get back together with him?" Chan asks, and Felix is confused for a moment before it dawns on him.

"Seungcheol?" He asks, and Chan gives him a small nod. Felix laughs, "Chan, we've been over this for hours now. Is this an interrogation?"

"Avoiding the question?" Chan asks and Felix resolutely responds with, "No, I just don't see the point in talking about it when he's not here, anyway."

"Do you want him to be?"

Felix smiles, a little fondly. "Yeah, he would have made it more fun." The blonde replies, running a finger down the side of his glass. "Seungcheol's my best friend. He knows me better than anyone."

"Better than I do?"

Felix is a bit more drunk now, tongue a little more loose. "He knows me in a more _spiritual_ kind of way, you could say." The blonde continues playfully, and he looks up to see Chan not in any way amused by his words.

"Guess I gotta up my game, then." Chan comments vaguely, throat bobbing as he downs his drink. Felix's mind barely registers his statement but Chan is already out of his seat, muttering a small 'good night' as he walks away.

Felix is left on the couch, stunned into silence. He doesn't know if he's heard the raven-haired boy correctly, could not for the life of him differentiate between reality and his dreams. Felix thinks Chan's words were hopeful distortions of his mind, a product of nursing a bottle of Moscato instead of a glass. He figures heading to bed would be best, maybe splashing some water on his face could get him to wake up and stop imagining things.

The blonde goes up to the second floor, mentally thanks Chan for giving him the best room in the house and showers the grime off of his skin. Felix is in the middle of drying his hair when he hears a knock on his door. He opens it to the sight of Chan on the other side, the older with one hand against his door frame.

"Hey. Did you need something?" Felix asks, and Chan's eyes look glossed over and droopy from the alcohol.

"You said he knows you better than I do, right?" Chan demands, his tone carrying an edge Felix doesn't think he's ever heard the other use.

The blonde eyes the other warily, as Chan continues. "I think you should let me get to know you more."

Felix raises an eyebrow, opens his mouth to ask what the hell the other is on about when he feels Chan's lips crash against his own. The raven-haired boy pushes his way into Felix's room, hands heated and heavy around the blonde's neck. Felix is shocked at first but responds eagerly, licking into Chan's mouth before the other sucks on his bottom lip.

Chan walks him backwards until he lands on the bed, hair fanning out on the sheets and cheeks flushed. The older whispers a curse under his breath and all Felix could think about is _yes, yes, yes._ Chan pulls the skin on his neck between his teeth, sucks on Felix's skin so hard the other whimpers. Felix wraps his arms around Chan tighter, opens his legs for Chan to settle between them.

The weight over him makes Felix a little bit delirious with want, with need, with every pent up emotion he's ever felt for Chan all at once. Chan pushes a slow hand under Felix's shirt, fingers running up and down his stomach and gripping his waist. The older flicks a finger over his nipple and Felix keens. His mouth finds Chan's again, and Felix revels in how filthy and wet the kisses feel, as opposed to how sweet Chan usually is. The raven-haired boy lifts his head to slide Felix's shirt off of his body, leaving his bare skin on display.

Chan pauses to take one look at him, and Felix takes full advantage of the fact that he knows he looks good like this. He can hear the hitch in Chan's breath as the other's fingers trace his freckles from his cheeks, to his nose down to his lips. Felix's tongue darts out to suck the finger in his mouth and Chan's expression darkens. " _Fuck_ , I just knew you'd be like this."

"You've thought about me?" Felix asks as innocently as he can, though Chan doesn't miss the slyness hidden beneath.

Chan's hands find his throat again, drops his gaze down to the marks on Felix's collarbone from the nights before. Chan swallows, "I've tried not to."

Felix sits up on the bed with Chan's knees bracketing his hips. He takes Chan's mouth again, flicks his tongue languidly enough to make the older groan. The blonde sucks on Chan's adam's apple, runs his hands down the other's body only to palm him through his sweatpants. Chan breathes heavily through his nose as Felix looks up at him from under his lashes, "Am I still your Swan Lake like this, Chan?"

The older's eyes widen at his remark, like he's dropped from sixty feet above the ground. "Shit." He can hear Chan whisper to himself as he scrambles out of Felix's bed quicker than when he got in it. Felix feels his head ache from the whiplash. The older stares at him as Felix calls out, "Chan?"

The raven-haired man looks at Felix, skin pink and hair messy, lips swollen between his teeth. Felix feels like the air's been punched out of him when Chan says, "Shit, fucking shit. I'm sorry."

"What?" Felix asks sharply, "Why are you sorry? Come back to bed, you can make it up to me here and finish what you started."

"I'm drunk, Felix. I'm drunk." Chan reasons out, and Felix feels even more naked than he actually is.

"So am I, but that doesn't mean I fucking maul the first person I see."

"I'm sorry." Chan repeats, like it's the only thing he knows. The raven-haired man looks at him pleadingly and it makes Felix even more angry. "I didn't mean to do this."

"Why the fuck are you sorry?"

"I'm just-"

"Why?" Felix demands, and he would have slapped the shit out of Chan if he didn't look so damn helpless. "Are you sorry you almost fucked your best friend's little brother or are you sorry for fucking me over?"

"Felix, I-"

"Get out." The blonde interrupts, "I'm not good at being mad and not fucking shit up at the same time. Get the hell out of my room, Chan."

The raven-haired boy nods, barely an acknowledgment of Felix's seething remark. Chan closes his door with a sharp click and it was only then that Felix allows himself to sink into the mattress, tears spilling down his cheeks as he angrily wipes them away.

The blonde curls into himself, feels how damp his skin still feels from Chan's lips. He wants to have enough strength to push himself up and wash it off. Felix doesn't think he's ever felt pain this sharp, a rejection this stinging. He closes his eyes and thinks that maybe London is better this time of year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter left, y'all! This has been super fun to write so far and I'm kind of mad that I didn't just go ahead and divide this into six chapters like I usually do but, maybe a change of format would be good for an SKZ fic? I don't know, I just hope you like it.
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are always, always appreciated, thank you! <3


	5. Chewy and Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They figure it out.

"Oh good, you're here. Sit down on this."

Changbin's barely past Felix's door when the blonde calls him, sees the younger struggling to sit down on a purple suitcase in the middle of his bed. Changbin approaches slowly, head tilted in curiosity as his brother practically drags him to plop him down on the gigantic travel bag.

Felix hurries to pull the zipper on the other side of the older, squeals excitedly as the familiar sound of the lock clicks in place. The dancer sighs, "Thank God, I've been trying to shut that thing since this morning."

"Why are you packing?" Changbin asks, as Felix continues to rummage through the tornado of clothes and shoes spread out on his bedroom floor. "I'm pretty sure the pullover you just shoved in your carry-on is mine. Mom bought that for me at the - Felix?"

The blonde ignores his brother's questions, wholly focused on comparing his foundation on the vanity now. He tries to remember how summer is like in London but draws a blank, thinks that maybe it has been a while since he's stepped foot anywhere with rain. Changbin tries again, "Where are you going?"

Felix rolls his eyes, "Alright, stop with the nagging." The blonde continues to scan the make-up on his bedroom table, "I'm getting cabin fever, gonna go hang out with Cheol for a bit. I'll be back before classes start again."

"For two months? It's kind of a stretch to call that 'a bit', Lix." Changbin stands behind his brother, looks at him from the well-lit mirror. "Talk to me."

"I am talking to you." He waves an arm around in nonchalance to emphasize his words, "It's just a vacation, Bin. I didn't realize I missed Cheol a lot, a few days didn't really cut it for me."

"Bullshit. You missed Seungcheol's dick that much?"

Felix hits him in the arm with a knitted scarf. "Don't be crass." The blonde turns back to his bed, mentally recounts his essentials. "I'll be back before you know it."

"Back in Australia, you mean?"

The blonde falters at that, takes a deep breath at his brother's words. "What are you talking about?"

He turns to see Changbin with his arms crossed over his chest, a stern expression on his face. "Something happened with Chan. He did something, didn't he?"

Felix scoffs loudly and pulls the shelf underneath his bed. The blonde is mindlessly picking out his shoes as he replies, "Nothing happened."

"Exactly! Nothing happened." Changbin yells out, puzzle pieces fitting in his head. "That's why you're doing that thing with Chewy again. You're not coming back, are you?"

Felix stills, breathes deeply as he tries to ignore his brother's burning gaze on his back. "That's stupid, I'm not going anywhere."

"Can't you do your dramatic little exit after my birthday?" Changbin complains, sinks himself further on Felix's vanity chair. "Seungmin kind of likes you, you know. He thinks you're funny and I think his brain is convinced I'm more attractive now that he knows what my brother looks like."

Changbin contemplates, fiddles with a coral lipstick Felix has been planning to throw out. "On second thought, this is perfect. I can play the whole 'abandoned brother' thing and finally get some birthday sex or something."

Felix makes a face, "You're disgusting, I can't believe Seungmin has to put up with your shit."

Changbin simply hums, "Wanna tell me what's going on?"

Felix snorts as he plops down on his bed, haphazardly throwing off the clothes sprawled out on his sheets. Hyunjin would be appalled at how he's treating the Balenciaga currently hanging off the end of his bedpost, but he can't be bothered enough to care.

"I just," The blonde looks up at the ceiling with a sigh, "I don't know. I need to go." He tries not to seem affected, ignores the ache in his bones at remembering the expression on Chan's face when he pulled away.

He feels the bed dip at the weight, his brother crawling on the memory foam and landing on his back with a loud huff. Changbin tries to push Felix off the bed like the annoying little shit that he is and Felix grabs onto his hair to keep himself from falling. Changbin doesn't try anything further for his own scalp's sake.

The two stare at the dangling lights above Felix's bed. "Why are you just the single most dramatic person I know? Chandelier, seriously?"

"Here's an idea, you can leave."

"No, I won't." Changbin replies without looking at him, "And you aren't leaving either."

"Who's going to stop me, you?"

"I'm telling Mom you scratched the Audi." Changbin quips and Felix's eyes widen. "I saw the black nail polish rolling on your backseat. She's really going to kill you this time."

Felix lands a kick against Changbin's shin and his brother yelps in surprise. The older tries to grab onto Felix's legs bur the blonde wraps them around his limb, pulls back hard enough to make Changbin shriek.

"Ow, stop fucking - Felix, you little, stop pulling my hair you are so-"

"My shirt, stop grabbing onto my shirt. Bin, the collar's gonna wear out, I swear to God if you-"

Changbin is half hanging on one side of the bed, tears springing from his eyes from laughing too hard and Felix can feel his stomach spasm. Changbin yells out playfully as Felix pushes him further, his head and half his torso hanging off the bed as he grabs onto Felix's shirt. The older taps his palms repeatedly against Felix's chest, and the blonde pulls back from where he's laying down on the other.

Changbin manages to crawl back onto the comforter, pants in between incredulous laughter. The two brothers lock eyes and cackle even louder. Felix wipes the stray tears from his eyes as his arm lands on his stomach, rubs up and down to try and soothe the cramp he knows is coming.

"You little shit, why are you still so good at wrestling with your dainty dancer arms?"

"I'm not strong, you're just weak and pitiful." Felix mocks and Changbin hits him in the face with a pillow. The two struggle to control their breaths, and Changbin wipes the sweat forming on his brow.

Felix feels the exhaustion seeping through his bones, from packing, or play fighting with his brother, from the whirlwind of emotions he's been feeling since he last saw Chan, that he almost dozes off. He hears his brother speak from beside him, "You've always been such an annoying pain in the ass."

"Don't insult me, I almost killed you."

"You are. You always will be, you wouldn't be my brother if you aren't." Changbin continues, undeterred. "You set your mind on something and you have to get it, no matter what. You used to play dead like a literal dog whenever mom tells you 'no' at the mall of all places, you were so embarrassing."

Felix pulls on his ear and Changbin laughs out loud, "God, you were a funny kid. Remember when you pretended you were an orphan?"

The blonde groans irritably as his brother continues, "You were probably like, six or something when mom told you we couldn't get a dog because you're allergic." Changbin snickers, as if remembering exactly what six-year-old Felix looked like in the past. "You didn't talk to us for two days, and you kept dragging a Snoopy bag around with like, ten dollars inside."

Felix spouts a half-hearted 'stop' as Changbin adds, "Shit, I remember Dad's face when you called Mom 'Mrs. Lee'. That was so funny."

"She almost cried when you said that." The older points out, "Grandma didn't even want to get a dog but she got Chewy just so you would stop whining about it."

"Grandma loved Chewy too. She liked the company." Felix defends in between, but the older doesn't pay his protest any mind.

"There was one summer when Chewy stayed with us for the weekend and you were so excited." Changbin drop his gaze from the ceiling as he continues, "Mom had your pediatrician on speed dial the whole time and you were chasing Chewy around the house with band-aids all over your face."

"You kind of have a one-track mind with these kinds of things, you know?" Changbin turns to look at the younger, "You think about getting one thing and that's that. Chewy was like, this close to killing you and you still followed him around."

"Do you have a point there, somewhere?"

"You see, this is why I don't try to be a good brother to you." Changbin insists, "I try to be all sentimental and shit and you just ruin it with your big mouth."

Felix placates him with a careless wave of his hand, silently asking his brother to continue. "Point is, this must be very difficult for your primadonna brain to comprehend but, you don't always get what you want, Lix." Changbin continues, voice soft enough not to spook. 

"Sometimes the things that you want aren't good for you, and you're just gonna have to accept that instead of calling yourself an orphan and running away with ten dollars on your back." Changbin locks gazes with Felix this time, cheek pillowed against Felix's bed.

The blonde sighs, "Are you comparing Chan to our dead dog?"

"Considering he's a bitch for forcing me to deal with all of your emotional baggage, yes. Yes, I am."

Felix laughs at that, and Changbin's own satisfied grin feels like comfort to the blonde. The younger laughs harder, "I fucking _moved_ here for him. I'm so stupid."

Changbin stares at Felix, doesn't fail to notice the tears threatening to fall from the sides of his brother's eyes. The older shrugs, "Yeah, you did." Changbin continues, "You can stay for another reason, twinkles."

"You can stay for us." Changbin offers, hesitantly. "You can stay for yourself."

Felix's chest squeezes at the sentiment, stares back at the ceiling to avoid having to look at his brother. He feels close to bursting at the seams. They stay silent for a while longer when Felix opens his mouth to reply.

"That was disgusting. Let's never do this again."

"Yeah, I think I kind of threw up a bit in my mouth when I said that."

The words are left unsaid, but it brings peace to Felix nonetheless. He unpacks, lets himself unravel again in the four corners of his bed and the four walls of the familiar dance studio he's come to be more than fond of. He gets to know his new world a bit more, finds that he doesn't mind living here even without the promise of his happy ending.

He tries to resist the urge to fold whenever one of his friends mentions Chan, and how he's a bit busy now with graduation requirements and can't seem to hang out anymore. Hyunjin shoots him a pointed look that he shrugs off every time, sticks to his side whenever the couples pair up. The model jokingly kisses him once at a movie night with the group, and Felix flails around like a fish when Hyunjin tries to pull him closer for another and tells him he's a better kisser than his brother.

Felix is less of a flight risk, and he calls his apartment in Seoul 'home' in his head more often than usual. He starts to walk around the city more, discovers what he likes and doesn't like about the neighborhood. The blonde continues to dance, is thankful that at least that remains the same no matter where he is.

Weeks pass and he finds himself in the middle of Seungmin's kitchen, an array of baking tools spread out on the kitchen counter and flour staining his borrowed apron. Felix asked for a beige one but Seungmin only told him to 'suck it up' and he doesn't care if it doesn't 'match Felix's aesthetic'. Seungmin's talking more and more like his brother these days, Felix thinks. Felix hopes for the younger's sake that he doesn't end up dressing the same as Changbin as well.

Hyunjin is standing behind him, scanning a metal tool in his hands as Seungmin whips the batter in a bowl. The sound leaves goosebumps on Felix's arms. The model asks, "This is what you use for like, getting the yellow thing out of the egg, right?"

Seungmin looks up briefly, sighs exasperatedly. "No, Jin. That's a melon baller."

"Oh." Hyunjin nods, stares at the metal in his hands. "What's a melon baller?"

They're trying to make a cake, keyword being _trying_ since Felix and Hyunjin don't know half of what Seungmin is saying. The two rummage through Seungmin's fully-stocked shelves, pretend they can definitely whip the batter from medium to low using the electric mixer, which they surely know how to use, obviously.

Felix is in the middle of discreetly typing on his Google search bar when Seungmin groans, "This isn't working. You two can't even act like you know what you're doing."

Hyunjin gapes indignantly at the comment, and Felix scoffs. "Why can't we just buy the cake? Changbin is obsessed with this cake from the Four Seasons. If you just let me text Cheol, he can help me out with-"

Seungmin waves a spatula in front of him with a glare, " _No_. No rich people benefits. I told you, I want him to get home-made food for his birthday. He always takes me to these restaurants and they-"

"Eating at luxury restaurants, what a tragedy." Felix replies dryly and Seungmin chuckles, throws a hand towel in Felix's general direction.

"Jin's coming with me to get Minho. Can I trust you to take out the cake once it's done?" Seungmin asks as he shuts the oven door, peeking at the layer of batter inside.

"I know how time works, so yeah, maybe." The blonde couldn't resist teasing the other and Seungmin rolls his eyes in amusement. Felix is left scrolling through his phone in the kitchen, not forgetting to set an alarm for when the cake would be ready.

He's in the middle of checking on his Instagram following when he hears the door open. The blonde yells out, "Did Minho bring the seaweed chips I asked him to buy for me? I texted him and he just-"

Chan is standing by the door instead, a tentative smile on his face. "Hi." Chan offers, and Felix thinks he needs to get out as soon as possible.

"Why are you here?"

The older is visibly taken aback by the hostility, but he continues. "It's Changbin's birthday, Seungmin asked me to come."

"Seungmin's asking me to leave, then." Felix responds without missing a beat, and the blonde tries to push past Chan but the other blocks the exit before he can slip out.

The younger looks directly at him, "Okay, I might not have been crystal clear before so I'm going to spell it out for you. I don't want to be in the same room as you. Move."

Chan doesn't budge, even with the harshness of Felix's words. "We should talk."

"No, we shouldn't. What we should be doing is not getting in the way of each other." Felix moves to the side and Chan mirrors his actions. The blonde narrows his eyes, "I'm done playing games with you, Chan. Move or I'll make you."

"Five minutes." Chan stares back, and Felix can see the plea swimming in the other's eyes. "Just give me five minutes, please."

Felix pauses at that, voice steely. "I'll give you three. You better make the most out of it."

The older breathes out in relief, pulls Felix into the living room and the blonde tries not to buckle under the pressure of feeling Chan's skin against his again. The raven-haired boy sits beside him on the couch, rubs a hand down the side of his neck, starts off carefully. "How have you been, Lix?"

"Are you really going to waste your time with fucking small talk?"

"I'm just curious if you haven't been sleeping, like me." Chan mentions, like it's not a big deal. "It hasn't been easy with the whole 'graduation' thing on top of it. I get a headache just coming in for attendance."

"Am I supposed to feel sorry for you or something?" Felix asks, anger bubbling in his chest. Chan singlehandedly broke his heart and the older wants him to feel bad for him because he can't _sleep?_

"No, no you're not. I'm just - I want you to know that," Chan falters, runs a frustrated hand down his hair. "I don't know how to explain it. Fuck, I'm sorry."

Chan swallows, "I'm sorry. Let's start with that." The raven-haired boy continues, a little more fueled than before.

His eyes carry more weight as Chan says, "You were supposed to be my little brother, just that. Nothing else."

"I used to help you with homework, got your math tables laminated for you for crying out loud." Chan points out, like he can't believe what he's saying. "You were always just that to me, you know. Nothing changed, even when I went away."

"But then you," Chan begins, struggles with his words, "you came in to the center that day and you, _God_ , you looked-" The older pauses, and Felix tries not to get carried away, "-you looked different. I was so confused."

"I wanted things to stay the same. Trust me when I say that I wanted things to say the same. Fuck, it was so hard to watch you." Chan supplies, like he's in agony just remembering it. "I'd hate myself every time I touched you, because I knew I wasn't doing it how you thought I was. I felt so guilty I almost didn't want to be close to you anymore."

"I thought it was brotherly of me to want to punch Seungcheol in the face when he," Chan laughs, unamused, "he drew circles on your shoulder and called you 'baby' in front of everyone."

"It felt like I was taking advantage of you, you know? At the time." Chan contemplates, fiddling with his fingers. "You trusted me, and thought of me as your brother when all I could think about was the fact that you liked older men."

Felix wanted to scream out, doesn't dare hope that the conversation is leading up to where he thinks it's going. Chan continues, "Changbin talked to me the other day, told me to get off my ass and stop trying to treat you like a kid."

"He told me you almost left to go back to Australia." The raven-haired boy winces, "You still might. I know that. I'm hoping you won't, I'll beg you if I have to."

"Maybe I'll move back. I kind of miss the heat to be honest, the sun doesn't shine the same here." Chan mentions nonchalantly, like he isn't pouring his heart out right beside Felix. "I loved you so, so much before."

The raven-haired man turns to face Felix, tentatively reaches out to place warm palms around Felix's neck. "I loved you so much I didn't think there was any other way for me to love you. I was wrong."

Chan bites his lip, laughs like he thinks the way Felix's heart is almost dropping to his stomach is amusing. "I'm in love with you now. I didn't think that would be okay."

"I'm in love with you, Swan Lake." The older pulls him closer, almost presses their foreheads together as he whispers, "Please tell me it's okay."

Felix's eyes are glassy when he nods, fills the gap between their bodies. "It's okay."

Chan closes the gap even further, presses his lips against Felix's as he pulls him flush against the older's body. They kiss like it's a place they're discovering together, like it's uncoordinated and messy and everything you would expect your first time to be. Chan maps out his mouth, rubs a gentle finger on the back of Felix's ear and the world disappears for a split second. The raven-haired boy pulls Felix onto his lap, and they kiss like they have all the time in the world. To Felix, it feels like they do.

The alarm blares at one point, and Felix laughs as Chan hauls him up into his arms. The older walks them to the kitchen, with Felix's legs wrapped around his waist. The blonde giggles as Chan peppers kisses on his neck, doesn't let go even when he opens the oven door. Felix finally relents, manages to pry Chan's fingers from holding onto his hips as he pushes him out of the way.

Chan mouths at his nape as Felix pulls the tray out, resists the urge to turn to face the other and the mittens almost slip from his grasp. The raven-haired boy wraps two arms around his waist, bites at the top of his ear and Felix finds himself gasping, fingers weak enough to send one layer of the freshly-baked chiffon toppling to the ground.

The pair openly gape at the mess, and their eyes widen upon hearing the door opening and footsteps getting dangerously closer to where the disaster of a cake is currently scattered.

Felix barely registers what's happening when Chan nudges him to the side, grabs the tray and mittens from the blonde's grasp just in time for Seungmin to gasp horridly at the mess.

"Please tell me that is not my cake on the floor."

"Okay, that is not your cake on the floor." Seungmin, along with Minho and Hyunjin in tow stare at him incredulously. "That is Changbin's cake on the floor."

Seungmin all but charges towards Felix, and Chan steps in between them with the tray lifted against his chest. "I dropped it when I was taking it out. I'm sorry, Min. I have a back-up cake, don't worry. I'm getting it delivered now."

The brunet sighs at the mess, resignedly helping Minho and Hyunjin pick up the pieces with kitchen towels. "It's alright, I think I kind of made it dry anyway. Changbin hates that."

"I thought you said you had an internship thing. When did you get back?" Minho asks, and Felix tries to ignore the pointed stare Hyunjin is not so subtly shooting in his direction.

"Yeah. I did. I got back a bit late actually but," Chan grins, glances at Felix as he speaks. "I'm here now."

"Not that I want to interrupt your little 'metaphor' moment, but could we get some help over here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I take it back, I'm not done. One last chapter to tie everything up, can't let go of this baby yet.
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated and it gives me so much joy to read detailed comments and knowing what you think. Again, thank you so much! <3


	6. Hips and Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix is the best boyfriend in the world, ask anybody.

"That's right, you better watch your back. If you think for one second that your motherfu-"

"That was a foul. For goodness sake, that was _obviously_ a foul. Can somebody pick up a brain here somewhere-"

"Jin, did you see that? He did not just fucking - hey, coach! Referee, whatever, hey! Guy in the unflattering, blue dri-fit, I need to say something to you-"

"Felix, oh my God, you're gonna get us kicked out." Changbin hisses, glares irritably at his brother who doesn't pay him any mind as he cranes his neck from side to side to see better from the top of the bleachers. "Shut your gigantic trap for once. This is a basketball game, not an underground boxing ring."

The blonde is laser focused on the wide stretch of the gymnasium, eyebrows stitched in apprehension from looking at Chan. The older is zooming past the other players, running to the opposite side of the court after swiping the ball from his opponent's hands. "Yes, _yes._ That's my fucking boyfriend right there!"

Hyunjin is resignedly holding up the other end of Felix's sign, all twenty-four inches of LED blinking back at the audience. Felix's eyes are glued onto Chan's form as the older raises a hand to signal to one of his teammates, passes the ball to a junior Felix vaguely recognizes as he runs closer to the ring. The blonde waves his sign even faster, the group of girls below them subtly ducking in fear of getting hit by the metal.

"That's it. That's right, let's go Chan! You can do it, baby. Go get the - yes, go closer to the - fuck yes!" Felix shrieks, and Minho's eyes widen comically at the other's outburst. Changbin is being comforted by a laughing Seungmin on the far end of the bench.

"Can you cool it with the 'stage boyfriend' thing for like, five seconds? My arms are tired." Hyunjin complains, but Felix waves off his protests as he squeals.

Minho, at the very least is closer to Felix's level of excitement, being a dancer and all making him as competitive as the blonde. The other cheers along with Felix, laughs at the younger's bulging eyes as Chan throws the ball, form immaculate enough to land him a clean shot.

"Yes! You see that? Did everybody fucking see that?" Felix continues, laughs hysterically in excitement, "You better _believe_ my boyfriend would wipe the floor with your mediocre, incompetent little asse-"

"Saying it in English doesn't make it any better, Felix." Changbin yells louder, presumably to drown out his own brother's voice. The older slaps a palm over his mouth to prevent Felix from screaming his heart out during the last two minutes of the game.

Chan comes closer to the stands as their coach calls them over for their last regroup, looks up to see Felix batting Changbin's hands away from his face. The blonde remains undeterred, sees Chan looking in their direction and screams, "You're so hot, number fifteen!"

The raven-haired boy chuckles at his boyfriend's antics, winks at the other as Felix faints exaggeratedly. Hyunjin rolls his eyes in amusement at the blonde, "Did you guys see that? Number fifteen just winked at me."

"Every time I think he's reached his limit, he just gets even more annoying."

Felix ignores Changbin in favor of handing over the other end of the LED sign to Minho, rummaging through his bag to pull out two large red and white pompoms. The colors match his own outfit and Seungmin cackles at his enthusiasm.

"If you do a full routine right now, we will not hesitate to leave you here." Minho warns, and Felix narrows his eyes before clearing his throat nonchalantly. The blonde continues to wave the pompoms around, strands hitting Hyunjin in the face as the clock counts down to the last thirty seconds.

The other team is leading with three points, and Felix could barely keep up with his nerves as he grips the handle of his pompoms tighter. One of Chan's teammates runs past their opponents as Chan stands on guard to his left. The raven-haired boy waves his arms around, catches the ball in his hands five seconds before the buzzer and he shoots, ball circling around the ring. Felix holds his breath.

The shot lands. They won.

The excitement pierces the quiet as Hyunjin shakes Felix by the arm. Changbin is jumping around with Seungmin, his cheek pressing against the other's own gleefully. Chan is waving a triumphant fist in the air when his teammates crowd him in an embrace, the trophy clutched in his arms as they cling onto the raven-haired boy. Chan's smile is pure, unadulterated adrenaline and success. Felix runs down the stands faster than he's ever done in his life.

Chan finds him in the crowd almost immediately, the raven-haired boy staggering back a few steps from the impact of Felix running into his arms in an embrace. The blonde giggles near his ear, wraps his arms tighter around Chan's neck, "I'm so proud of you, Captain."

The older pulls away, smile smug as he shows off the golden trophy in his right hand. "Intercollegiate MVP, you mean?"

Felix snorts playfully, hopelessly endeared. Chan ruffles his hair, warm palm settling on his nape. "You good to wait for me with the others? I just have to take a shower before we leave."

"Can I come with?" The blonde asks unabashedly, smile morphing into something all too familiar to Chan. "I wanna give you your prize now."

Chan swallows heavily as he stares back into Felix's eyes, "We can't leave our friends hanging, Lix. I promised everyone dinner, remember?"

"Fine." The blonde replies, leaning closer to the older with a smirk. Chan's knuckles whiten around the trophy, "If you think you can wait, sure."

Chan groans, presses his forehead against Felix's as the blonde giggles. Felix discreetly takes Chan's hands farther down his waist, guides one finger into his waistband. Chan's expression morphs into curiosity as the blonde smirks, digs it deep enough for Chan's fingertip to feel the lace.

The older's breath catches in his throat as Felix looks up at him slowly, "You sure you can wait, Captain?"

Their friends don't even get a word in as Chan throws a credit card their way, speeding out of the parking lot in record time.

********************************************************

"Babe, I'm back. Jin and I swung by that bakery across the street and got you those-" Felix stops at the sight of Chan sleeping in the living room, arms sprawled out and photocopies of anatomical features Felix would rather not think about surrounding him on the couch.

Felix sighs contentedly, gathers the papers in one neat pile as stealthily as he can and closes the laptop currently out of battery on Chan's coffee table. The blonde sits carefully beside the other, tilts his head as he looks at Chan's sleeping form.

The older has his lips slightly parted, small snores slipping past his lips which only seems to happen whenever Chan's schedule would be nearing project deadlines or presentations. Postgraduate classes are nothing like their undergrad it seems, with how often Felix is faced with the same scene for the past few months now.

His chest still aches at the sight of the older, still feels the giddiness and glee that comes with knowing where he stands now with Chan. It's been months of pure bliss and Felix sometimes wonders if he would ever come down from the high of knowing Chan is already his. The blonde traces a delicate fingertip down the bridge of Chan's nose, brushes the strands of hair away from his forehead. Felix smiles as Chan leans closer to where Felix is cupping a palm on his left cheek.

Chan startles awake, a habit that doesn't fail to crack the younger up with how disoriented and dazed the raven-haired boy looks every time. He clears his throat as his gaze lands on the younger.

"Hey, baby." The older greets, voice still scratchy and deep from sleep. Chan sits up and rubs his eyes, "You had fun with Jin?"

Felix hums as he leans his chest against the older's, wraps his arms around Chan's torso. "Mhm. You had fun with your nap?"

Chan chuckles, sees his papers shuffled haphazardly into a pile on top of his laptop. "You could say that." The older pulls him closer until Felix is half on top of him, and the blonde nuzzles his cheek against Chan's collarbone, "Come sleep with me."

The blonde's smirk widens against Chan's skin, "I already did this morning, twice. I'm offended you don't remember."

"I walked right into that one, didn't I?"

*******************************************************

"Back, back, get back. Tilt it slightly to the side, yes. That's right, okay. Now, be careful and _slowly_ pull it past the-"

Seungmin winces at the sound of the doorframe hitting the edge of their very expensive, very-much-a-gift-from-Changbin's-family, couch.

"Door." The brunet sighs at the sheepish expressions on Chan and Changbin's faces, "Whatever. Just get it past the door and put it in front of the TV."

Felix and Hyunjin are admittedly not much help, with the two groaning and complaining every five seconds about how they should not be forced to lift even a single finger to do manual labor with senior year kicking their ass.

The now silver-haired dancer comments, "Did Mom give you guys one of those ugly plates from Grandma already? I think she still has the one with the naked lady at the Calabasas house." Felix snorts at the realization, "That would be an ironic gift."

"No." Changbin settles beside his brother on the hardwood floors, Hyunjin flanking Felix's left side as he scrolls mindlessly through his phone. "We just moved in together, we didn't get married."

"Right. I'm surprised you don't share a toothbrush with how disgustingly domestic you guys are." Felix comments and Changbin nudges him from the side in retort.

"As if you're any better with Chan." Changbin quips with a smirk.

Felix scoffs loudly, fully prepared to shut the comment down when Minho plops down beside them, breath coming out in short huffs, "I can't feel my legs." He glares at Changbin's amused expression, "You better buy us food after this or I'm pushing your fridge down the fire escape."

They finish before the sun sets, and the satisfied smile on Seungmin's face is enough of a justification as to why their friends were roped into helping the couple out with moving in. Felix never thought he'd see the day that his brother would be openly excited about showing him the shelves he got customized for their en suite bathroom, but he's happy for him nonetheless.

The move was as inevitable as it was expected, when Changbin's birthday rolled around for the third time with Seungmin by his side. Felix can't say he misses his brother's nagging and endless trail of shoes at their previously shared apartment, but it does get kind of unnervingly quiet at times. Felix spends more of his free time at Chan's now, steadily taking up half the space of Chan's vanity and closet.

The Chinese food more than makes up for the work as they huddle closer to each other on the living room floor. Seungmin, in all his neurotic glory, didn't miss the opportunity to spread a tarp before the group could drop even a single speck of orange chicken sauce on the carpet.

Jisung tells them about his internship, and how the music producers treat him as a glorified coffee boy instead of a student and Minho commiserates with Chan as they complain about postgraduate requirements and their stockpile of exams. Felix sees the work firsthand, has been the victim of several cancelled dates and forgotten promises. He doesn't take any of it to heart, knows that Chan makes every effort to make it up to him when the situation takes a toll on Felix.

They say their goodbyes, and Felix pretends he has something in his eye when he congratulates his brother and threatens him to call everyday. Chan simply laughs at the younger, thumbs at Felix's protruding pout as they walk to the parking lot. Felix doesn't bother to ask when they arrive at Chan's own building, the exhaustion brought by the day finally settling in his bones.

Felix grabs a drink from the fridge, walks groggily to Chan's room only to see the other charging his tablet on the study table. The younger frowns, "Chan, why are you charging your tablet when we're about to sleep? I told you already, that messes with your battery and you don't have anywhere to plug it during your physio class."

Chan's hand falters, "It's only for a little while. I'm not sleeping yet, I can wait for it to finish." The older takes note of Felix's drink. "Hasn't the almond milk gone bad by now? I could have sworn we got that a few weeks back."

"That was the soy one. I threw that out the other day already. I bought this one with Seungmin when we - holy shit." Felix catches himself before he could continue, gapes openly at Chan in mortification.

"Changbin was right. We're turning into _them_." Felix exclaims, eyes wide and horrified. "When did this happen?"

Chan is in the middle of shedding his jeans when he turns to the other, "What? When did what happen?"

"When did we turn so _lame?"_ Felix emphasizes with his lips pursed. "Just last week I was complaining to Seungmin about how you always forget to turn your socks inside out when you put your dirty clothes in the hamper and he said the same thing about Changbin - oh my God!"

Felix paces around in shock, and Chan is torn between amusement and confusion as he replies, "I'm not sure what you mean."

"We've domesticated." Felix stresses, as if forcing the word from his mouth, "Like poultry, or a yorkshire terrier. We're not the hot, honeymoon drunk, slightly exhibitionist couple anymore. We need to do something about this."

The older chuckles at Felix's distress and the dancer hits him with a pillow. Chan laughs even louder, "Stop laughing, I'm serious." Felix huffs, "Next thing you know we're just 'best friends' and stuck with living together for the sake of our children."

Felix almost takes his words back, afraid that he might have overwhelmed the other when Chan says, "And how do you suppose we rectify this? Stop doing laundry and buying almond milk?"

The younger lands his body on the mattress and shrugs, "I don't know. We can have sex in the building elevator or something."

"Of course, nothing like getting arrested for public indecency to spice up any relationship."

Felix giggles as Chan lies down beside him, the older wrapping his arms around Felix's waist and slotting a leg between his own. "I hate to break it to you Swan Lake, but I think this tends to happen when you're in love with someone."

The dancer whines, "We're lame now. We're turning into Seungmin and Changbin."

"I'll be Changbin if that makes you feel any better."

"That," Felix pauses, "You know what? That does make me feel better, thank you."

They finally get ready for bed, and Felix can sense this warm feeling in his stomach upon realizing how far his relationship with Chan has come. He's never been an actual boyfriend before, all of his relationships never progressing past the four corners of a bedroom and always accompanied by ill-advised shots of alcohol. The thought makes Felix's chest ache in the best possible way.

Chan is in the middle of shuffling through his closet for a sleep shirt when a loud crack resounds through the room. Felix looks up from where he's typing on his laptop, bites his cheek to keep himself from laughing.

"Baby, was that your-"

"Yes, that was my hip." Chan admits, and Felix wheezes as he continues. "And no, you're not allowed to make fun of me for it. We carried a lot up to your brother's apartment, alright?"

"Am I gonna have to admit you along with your friends over at the Senior Center now, Chan?" Felix couldn't resist poking fun at the other, and Chan gets this mischievous look in his eyes before he lands himself completely over the silver-haired boy. Chan pushes Felix's laptop off his lap and proceeds to poke the younger's sides, Felix's knees almost hitting his stomach from trying to break free of the other's hold.

The dancer laughs uncontrollably and the older doesn't falter from his attack, "So, _now_ you pull the age card? You didn't seem to care about that when you were seducing me and telling me how I'm not that much older than you."

Felix grins tauntingly, immensely amused at Chan's indignant expression. The younger is reminded of the first time they met when he says, "I'm twenty-two. How old are _you?"_

The younger is struggling to catch his breath when Chan says, "Old enough to ask you to move in with me."

Felix stills, sees the expectant expression on Chan's face. A whirlwind of emotions overwhelm him at the same time and the younger's smile is wide and shaky as the words sink in.

He pecks the other's lips before replying, "I'm getting the right side of the bed."

Chan gets this bright look in his eyes as he smiles back in relief, "Anything you want, Swan Lake."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And scene! So, to properly tie this up here's some Chanlix fluff for all of you guys. I wanted to try and gather enough courage to write some actual smut, but I'm not sure if I'll be satisfied with myself if I write it at this point in my life...if that makes sense hahaha. Anyway, a gigantic thank you to everyone who has shown so much love and support for this fic. I appreciate each and every one of you. As always (and same as probably every end note I've ever written), kudos and comments are much much appreciated. Thank you so much! <3
> 
> Also, GO CHECK OUT MY SEUNGJIN FIC IF Y'ALL WANT SOME OF THAT ON MY OTHER ACCT @monlune. Thank you!


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